What I really want...

I want a drink of refreshing cool water.  I want a world without cancer. I want to take in this world filled with wonder and beauty.  I want to laugh through my tears.  I want to snuggle with my daughter without fear of hurting her.  I want to cry through my laughter.  I want to dance and sing and play.  I want to feel the freedom from that worry niggling me, whatever it may be, suddenly miraculously diminished.  I want the to sleep with the commitment of a baby.  I want to escape.  I want to dive in.  I want to live.  I want to allow.  I want a cupcake with sprinkles.  I want a rainy day.  I want a bright blue sunny day.  I want the wind blowing on my face as I drive with the windows down.  I want to talk about something other than medical.  I want to jump in puddles.  I want a date night.  I want a nice hot bubble bath.  I want to stay up late talking because sleep seems less essential than the conversation at hand.  I want to feel a part.  I want to travel.  I want to take my children to the beach on a gorgeous day and play in the sand.  I want to immerse myself in a thrifting spree where there is nothing but the bargain at hand.  I want a Green Tea Latte.  I want possibility.  I want there to be such greater options for cancer treatment that chemo, radiation, surgery are laughable.  I want hope.  I want inspiration.  I want to inspire.  I want a baby snuggled up lying on my chest, all newborn smell and feel.  I want a world without hunger.  I want the awe and wonder of Christmastime.  I want a mood changing song.  I want a tiny hand to hold from a body that bounces instead of walks.  I want the green of summertime and the white of winter.   I want to lose myself in a great movie, theatre, or book.  I want Ellie giggles.