SJF

3pm--Just informed that they are closing up now, which may take an hour to an hour and a half. 

Yesterday I was feeling a bit weepy and sad.  OK a LOT weepy and sad about Ellie going back to surgery today.  Just was not looking forward to another recovery period from all that.  And the stress to her of going through it all again when she has barely recovered from the last one.  One of the neurosurgery residents came to have me sign the consent form.  I immediately began weeping to which he immediately became highly uncomfortable.  He sort of looked at me and stammered, "It's the same procedure, same risks..."  Not knowing exactly what to say or do in the midst of that much emotion.  Plus, I was trying to not completely lose it in front of Ellie who was not aware of the events awaiting her.  When I told Thom, he said the resident was probably thinking, "If that form gets wet, I'll have to re-do the whole thing!"  Then the neurosurgeon came and talked to me and told me that he just really felt that he did not finish after viewing the MRI.  Plus he felt it would be much easier to go back in NOW before scar tissue forms, before the bones reset, etc.  (that is the part I had to tune out a bit because I did not want to hear all the details of surgery.  Egads.)

There I was feeling sorta gloomy when Ellie's teachers from last year arrived, Ms. Mack & Ms. Zwart.  Totally brightened my day.  The way they talk to Ellie filled with such respect, an easy flow happens.  We all stood around Ellie's bed and never once did Ellie say she felt excluded because the whole thing was about visiting with Ellie.  Ms. Zwart brought Ellie a super soft bear which she named  "Cuddly McCuddleson" plus a batch of chocolate chip cookies plus a box of crayons.  Ellie just kept saying during their visit, "I am SJF, so joy filled right now."     A great big thanks to both of them for their skill at not just including Ellie but really appreciating  her.  Then to top it off, Brittany came and spent several hours with us. 

At 4am the PICU suddenly became full and we were moved into a double room, which means a much smaller room with another family.  We didn't even realize they had such an arrangement in this hospital.  Although when I feel a bit grumpy about the cramped quarters and awkwardness, I recall our stay in the PICU in Chicago and it was much much smaller.  A wide open space with six curtains filled with children, no room at all for stuff.  So I suppose, we've seen worse.   Should be an interesting night.  Ben has been scoping out different rooms on the floor where he would like Ellie to stay "next time", so maybe we'll get moved to one of those rooms. 

Well, Dr. Iskandar (neurosurgeon extraordinaire) just came in to say he was done and Ellie is going for an MRI rather than having to re-sedate her tomorrow.  He felt good that everything had gone well.