Ode to Joy

[caption id="attachment_3414" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Thom, Ellie, Debi, Zach, Sara, Dan."][/caption]

My stupendous sister-in-law, Sara, sent this on Wednesday.  It is so beautiful and perfect I had to share it. 



 I took a long walk today.  Really needed to.  Yesterday I let myself stay in a yucky, very sad about Ellie slump.  Woke up knowing today had to be different.  So I walked one of my favorite parts of the city for hours.  The wind was bitterly cold, but for the most part I didn’t notice.  I kept thinking about Joy.  How amazing it is that a ten year old managed to insert that old fashioned notion of Joy (in a much-improved version: JILLED) back into the vocabulary of so many people she met – and even more that she hasn’t.  Joy is something beyond happiness – it seems to be “happiness despite ...”, deeper and more spiritual than happiness, which is so tied to circumstances.
Ellie DOES joy better than anyone I know.  She’s just not a tied-to-circumstances kind of gal.  
When Mia was struggling with seizures, I experienced the same thing you are talking about  - that intuitive mother KNOWING or FEELING what your child is enduring.  With Mia, it was an overwhelming sense of fear.  Which totally sucks.  I love that you are communing with Ellie despite today’s outward circumstances – I especially love that you are not sensing fear (and not surprised, either – fear and joy don’t mix).
The joy Ellie lives is not something you can manufacture in yourself.  It is part of that most sacred trust – the soul, the life of the Spirit, the breath of God that lives in our hearts during our journey on this earth.  Ellie, more than most of us, gives that Spirit a lot of breathing room.  She isn’t lost in distractions of mind and heart, she doesn’t crowd her soul with anger and bitterness.  
Elisabeth – Betsi – Zeba – Ellie – we love you so much!  Sleep well tonight, our Joy.
Sara