Doing a 180

As I was driving through the snow to the Y (formerly known as the YMCA), the Phil Collins song, You'll Be in My Heart came on the radio.  I realized that this was one of Ellie's songs, from when she was in utero.  I called it her fetus theme song.  As I started to turn left, the car started to turn more left-ish than I had intended and I ended up facing the opposite direction than I had been previously traveling, finally coming to rest at the stop sign.  The truly wange (weird strange) thing was that I had no doubt in my mind that I was going to be absolutely fine even in the middle of the spin out.  It felt as if I was in an Ellie protected bubble.  (Reminded me of the time Ellie fell down the basement stairs and ended up completely and inexplicably unscathed.) I truly felt her presence with me.  Protecting.  What a 180 that was from the end of last week.  How suddenly and unexpectantly things can change.  (I also felt as if that spin out raised my heart rate enough that a workout might  have been redundant.) 

Later, as I was completing my workout, I suddenly had an incredibly strong urge to stop my workout and go retrieve Lotta from Child Watch.  I convinced myself to stay and finish the last minute.  As I approached Child Watch, I could hear LOUD crying.  It was Lotta.  The child watchers told me she'd just started a minute ago.  She was completely fine and then suddenly completely not fine.  Like a light switch. I told the workers how I had actually sensed it.  Just when I think I am getting better at following my intuition, I then find another opportunity to do so. 

I guess, ultimately, I felt incredibly connected to both my daughters today.  Amazing.