Funderful

On Tuesday, one of our favorite PICU nurses stopped by to visit Ellie.  Now we have had a LOT of spectacular nurses in the Children's Hospital.  I mean STELLAR.  But Katie is at the top of our list of the BEST of the BEST because not only is she just super at what she does, but she also has such a loving, kind way about her.  I never felt uncomfortable leaving Ellie in her care, because I absolutely knew that Katie would take the utmost care with my daughter.  Katie is such an awesome mix of being able to be in the room, talking and really connecting with where you are AND being able to be a silent figure, sneaking in performing her job and leaving.  I will miss seeing her.  It's ironic, because Thom said he always raced to get his showering accomplished in the morning so as not to burden Katie.  And now we discover that was her favorite part of the day.  Even more ironic is that Katie had no idea that I was collecting Ellie lessons on my blog, just felt inspired to write it and bring it.  Thom was able to share it with Ellie. 

Dear Ellie--I sit here thinking long and hard about what I want to say today.  I feel that my words can never be as brilliant as yours are.

I want you to know a couple of the lessons you have taught me and how my life has been changed by those lessons.

First of all, you taught me that I need to work on my memory.  My favorite favorite favorite part of my day was our mornings together.  Dad would go shower and get ready for the day and I got to spend my morning chit chatting with you.  Every morning I came in to do your cares, we would review the new words you were sharing with me.. and the next time I came into your room, I would forget them already!  And you, in your glorious purity would simply say, "That's OK, maybe you should write them down."  That always made me smile.  I want you to know I tried very hard to remember those words, but all I kept thinking was how I hoped to get through your cares without making you feel anxious, sad, or scared. 

I also wanted to let you know that I think of you and will always think of you when I hear "Ellie words."  The other night I was watching TV and I heard the word "funderful" (fun and wonderful).  That word so far is my favorite because it reminds me of just how funderful you are.  Even when you are very sick in the hospital, you still had the spirit to make those around you smile and laugh (fun). When leaving your room there were times when I thought to myself, amazing.  Truly amazing the spirit of that little girl and the light she spreads around her (wonderful). 

The last thing you and your family taught me was what unconditional love truly looks like.  I am not very good with words (as you know) so I like to use quotes and this one says exactly what I want to say to you. 
"What then is the ultimate object of this pursuit, the goal that transcends all others, that surpasses health, wealth, and power?  I believe it to be the consistent practice of the law of unconditional loving.  Medicine tells us that health is the greatest goal.  But health is not the greatest thing in life.  Greatness exists in places where health is absent."  Greg Anderson

I want you to know that you are loved unconditionally.  You are so lucky to have the parents you have chosen.  Not only have you been a teacher to me, but your family has been as well.  I now have a better idea of the meanings of dedication, love, and resilience. 

So, thank you.  Thank you for allowing me to be in and a part of your very precious life.  It has been a true honor and a blessing.