Comedians, Owls and Apple Juice

As we sat down to dinner, Lotta proclaimed, "Every time I drink apple juice my hair gets wet."

Thom decided he would amaze and delight Ben with some little known facts about owls.  When Thom started asking him questions, Ben answered each question correctly then went on to supplying us with additional information.

Last week, as Ben dropped an orange on the floor and bent down to retrieve it, this gave Zibbi the giggles.  Which then resulted in both Lotta and Ben trying to maintain the level of hilarity.  I thought what a great life to have a set of comedians at your disposal.

Guess that is what all the fuss about family dinners is about.

The Next Meryl Streep

Last Thursday, as I was getting ready for Hip Hop class, Lotta and Ben had discovered a bottle of Burt's Bee's lotion.  I adore Burt's Bee's, its honey smell, it's 99 percent pure, so pure you could actually eat it, should you become hungry during your lotioning.  The way Lotta puts on lotion is she slathers a huge quantity on, then uses a cloth to wipe it off.  I could not let my wonderful lotion meet this fate.  I mean come on!

As soon as Lotta was turned the other way, I moved the lotion to a less visible location.  Which, of course, was quite sad for our beloved heroine.

My mom is visiting so she was in charge of Lotta's bedtime, while I was Hip Hopping.  They went upstairs together and read in bed.  Afterwards, Lotta requested that her mommy stop hurting her feelings (because of the previously mentioned lotion incident).  Then she told my mom that she would be back in "one minute".  Previously, I'd told my mom of this trick, wherein Lotta then disappears, never to be seen or heard from again...When my mom resisted, Lotta said she needed to give hugs and kisses to her dad and brother.  Hard to say no to that!  This time, she accomplished her task and returned promptly.

Lotta laid in bed with my mom, feeling quite squiggly, continually flopping and moving about.  Finally, she started making sleeping noises.  So convincing was her performance, that she actually fell asleep.  Those are some acting skills our young Lotta has!

Babette

When Ellie was around Lotta's age, I got fed up one day because Ellie once again, refused to wear her winter coat.  Suddenly, I decided I would become a different person, whose main job it was was to put on Ellie's coats.  Thus, our "staff" was born.  Ellie had a manicurist, a bather, a coat check person, really whatever needed to be done that Ellie did not want to have any part of could be accomplished easily with a staff member.

This week, I was feeling tired and out of sorts and it was bath time.  Lotta wanted to put on her beautiful easter dress given to her by Aunt Linda, while I on the other hand, wanted her to take a bath and get the marker she'd drawn all over herself off.  (I think she was going for a zebra look as there were many many stripes involved).  We were getting frustrated.  I gave the baby to Thom so that I could better deal with the situation.  As I arrived in the bathroom, I donned a "French" accent and introduced myself as Babette the Bather.  Lotta shook my hand, surprise showing on her face.  We then proceeded to have a lovely, fruitful bath, with me even being able to wash her hair.  Later, Lotta kept insisting on playing with "Ballet" (her name for Babette) because it had been such fun having a new playmate.

Our staff for Lotta has continued to grow as we now have Delilah the Dentist, Henri the male version of Babette, Hank the Hand washer....

AND

As I may have mentioned previously, Lotta has decided she enjoys being messy.  One of the things I love about being two, is that you can BE more than one thing.  For example, Lotta can BE a fancy girl loving fancy dresses AND she can build a mud castle, loving to get messy (typically while in said fancy dress).  She can love playing with dolls AND playing with cars.  She can adore reading books AND dancing a jig AND drawing with markers (mostly to decorate herself).  What she does never defines who she is.  It seems freeing to not have to choose one or another, but instead be able to just BE.  What a world of possibility is open to her.

Oh Baby!

Contractions started at around 12:30 on Wednesday, or they became uncomfortable enough that staying in bed was less of an option.  Thom had pulled an all night-er on a work project the previous night, so I was trying to let him get at least 4 hours of sleep.  I became worried that I would move into the transition phase before I woke him up, so at around 3:30 I woke him.  Everything went pretty slowly, I was having not so strong contractions.  Based on my previous births, I assumed that we would be done in a timely manner, as my longest previous birth was 9 hours.  By morning, we decided to allow Ben to stay home from school until the baby was born.  Originally, we were hoping for one of those 1 hour or even 20 minute births.  We'd already exceeded those expectations.

Things continued this way with medium contractions irregularly spaced.  Ben decided to be "second mother" taking  care of Lotta.  Ben instinctively knew that this was a free-for-all day.  He would come upstairs and inquire if he could make an afternoon snack.  To which we responded with a resounding "yes!" When he asked if he could watch more television another affirmative.  At some point, as things started getting more intense, Ben changed Lotta (including her diaper) into her pajamas.  Had we known that this birth were going to take so much longer, we probably would have made other plans for the care of our children.  I did feel guilty over ignoring our children all day long.  On the other hand, the day really allowed Lotta and Ben to bond and truly allowed Ben to rise to a leadership position.  He felt so proud of all the ways he assisted Lotta and in turn our family during birth.

As birth progressed, I became more vocal.  By the time I was near the end, it was getting quite loud (with Ellie the hospital personnel asked me to be quieter).  Lotta kept coming in to check on me, inquiring, "Mommy OK?"  Ben, once again, came to the rescue, making it a game, telling Lotta they would run away from all the noise.  Finally, the two of them ended up watching a movie.  Because Ben had experienced Lotta's birth, he was not at all surprised or scared by my vocalizing. He passed this attitude on to Lotta, allowing her to relax.

Also around this time, Lotta found a pair of Thom's old eye glasses.  She put them on and pretended to be Doctor Lotta.  She came to Thom and I requesting that we say "AAAHH" and open our mouths for her viewing.  I said my "AAAAAAArrrgggggHHHHHH!!!!" as I was having a contraction.

At this point I was around the 20 hour mark of birth/labor.  There were many many moments near the end, when I thought this was incredibly bad idea and wondered if there was any possible way to get out of this IMMENSE pain.

When the baby arrived, a beautiful baby girl, she had the umbilical chord wrapped around her little neck.  She was slightly purplish.  I had read about this happening occasionally during birth.  One family said they simply unwound the chord and the baby was fine.  So I felt confident in doing the same.When the midwife arrived, she confirmed that the umbilical chord around the neck was not cause for concern, that in some ways it was a better place for the chord than others.    The baby quickly started turning pink (instead of purple) as I talked to her and wiped her off.

Ben and Lotta came upstairs to meet their new sister, Madeline Elizabeth (nicknamed Zibbi).  My favorite favorite part of birth was the whole family sitting around me and baby Zibbi, admiring her.  I love how giving birth this way bonds my family in ways that I cannot even describe or imagine beforehand.  I know giving birth in this more native fashion without technology immediately available causes concern for some.  After experiencing birth this way, I however, cannot imagine giving birth any other way.

Come out Come out!

Since yesterday, Lotta has been encouraging the baby.  She asks the baby to "Come out come out, Don't be shy.  I want to hold you hand."  How could the baby possibly resist THAT?!?!

Back It Up

Lotta drives cars at the mall...

A few days ago, Lotta and I were preparing to go to the bus stop.  She did not want to wear shoes, so we compromised on bunny slippers.  She decided to ride her tiny car that she can push with her feet.  When we arrived at the bus stop, the bus was nowhere in sight, Lotta wanted to continue her car ride away from the bus stop, I suggested instead, we continue down the street in the direction the bus would be arriving.  She agreed.  We got caught up in noticing things on the sidewalk--scat from an unknown source, a peapod that she thought would fit perfectly inside her car seat.  Suddenly, I looked up and the bus was zooming towards the bus stop.  I told Lotta we had to race back to pick Ben up.  Instead of doing a "u" turn or even a 2-3 point turn towards the bus stop, as I anticipated, Lotta began yelling "Beep beep beep" as she backed herself up.

We have been utilizing a great deal of reverse psychology to get Lotta to do what we want.  Ben in particular enjoys this technique.  Recently, Lotta has started utilizing the technique back to me.  "No chase me, Mommy.  No chase me...." as she races around the house.  If she's already on to us at two, I'm not sure where we are headed...

Hard Work Deserves Cake

 Those youngsters have a LOT to learn

Before we traversed to Prawnee this year, Ben and I were discussing the opportunity he would have to play with his younger cousin, Dariush.  I exclaimed how superb Ben is with younger children and I just knew that Ben and Dariush would have a grand time together.  Ben paused and looked at me rather gravely, explaining how he enjoys spending time with younger kids because he feels he has a lot to teach them.

Welcom out!

Recently Ben made a poster for the new baby.  On one side it says, "Welcom out!" on the other side it says, "Hard work deserves cake!"  I guess we will be having cake the day baby arrives.  Yum.  (We had pancakes to celebrate Lotta's BIRTH day, which Ben is keen on recalling).

 

 

The Attitalk

The Attitalk

Some of you may recall Ellie's "attitalk" or attitude walk.  It is accomplished by placing hands on the hips and walking with a bit of an attitude.  For some reason Lotta has begun to simulate the attitalk.  She however does not allow anyone else to do it, she's not going to play that game. Which probably only increases her attitude, thus making the walk even MORE effective.

Slappy Feet

Now that it is getting warmer, Lotta has discovered slappy feet.  Slappy feet, yet another Ellie invention, is when you slap your bare feet against the floor as you walk creating a clapping sound.  Slappy feet was fine when we were at home, not as favorable, however, when we visited friends who lived in apartments with living below neighbors.  Particularly with Ellie's nocturnal roamings...

Pregnant with Possibility

On Ben's birthday we were traveling to Tennessee.  Beforehand, we talked up how he would be able to experience two of his favorite things--watch videos all day while we drove in the car AND wake up in a hotel.  He even got to pick our lunch destination, Bob Evan's, because they have whipped cream on top of their pancakes.  I felt as if his birthday was particularly low key this year.  I was worried it would be a let down for Ben.  At the end of his big day, when I asked him, he thought it had been an EXCELLENT birthday.  He did not notice there wasn't a party or even a great deal of hoop-la.  Instead, he noticed there was Blueberry Pie with whipped cream on top (are you noticing  a topping theme here?)

[caption id="attachment_5255" align="alignright" width="225"] Ben one of my heroes![/caption]

The thing I truly appreciate about Ben is his ability to get so excited about an idea.  He doesn't wait until he has that Lego set in his hand to get excited, he gets super excited just thinking about, contemplating his new purchase.  It is as if the swoosh of life is what is the BEST part of getting something new, not the actual acquisition of the item.  I feel like he is my role model in how to be as excited before the thing has shown up as after its arrival.  And he has no doubt whatsoever that what he desires will show up.  His latest excitement has been over wanting to get a pet, paid for by himself.  First he wanted a lizard, then a snake, then a rabbit, now a cat (not likely as Thom and I are both allergic).  Again, he is thoroughly enjoying researching, discussing and contemplating what it will be like.  He is pregnant with all the possibilities.

Super STAR!

[caption id="attachment_4426" align="alignleft" width="225"] Me on a holiday limo ride a year and a half ago (benefitted Ronald McDonald House--win win win situation!)[/caption]

Every time I show up for Zumba/Hip Hop class now, I am treated like an A-list Super Star!  Last Thursday I attended only the last 20 minutes of class and still the instructor (the amazing Ari) announced to the class that I was due in a week and a half.  After class I am surrounded by classmates congratulating me, asking about the pregnancy, even wanting to take my photo.  And I feel like waving like royalty as I leave and saying, "I'll be back again next week!"  It is fantastically fabulous.

Not only did I get the royal treatment at the Y, but I also got a FREE haircut when I donated my hair once again (my third time, I was able to donate 11 and 1/2 inches!)  Now the reason this seems like a treat is because it is at a SWANKY salon and they treat me as if I am a hero for donating my hair.

THEN to top the week off, I went and got a Mani/Pedi given to me by my mom as a Christmas gift.  This was especially great timing as it has become increasingly difficult to reach my toes.

Naming names

[caption id="attachment_5201" align="alignright" width="225"] Not Sweetie or Honey or Peanut--Lotta.[/caption]

My name is Lotta

Lotta is committed to being called Lotta and NOT "honey", "sweetie", "peanut", or even "Charlotte" or "Lotta Joy".  Just Lotta.  She insists upon it if anyone should happen to slip up at any moment.  The exact opposite of Ellie who was so completely NOT committed to ANY of the names she chose for herself over the years.

Everyday Lotta becomes more and more interested in playing pretend with her doll and stuffed animal friends.  Inevitably, the play becomes about the mother calling the baby "Wheat Pea" (Sweet Pea to you and me) and the baby protesting that this is NOT in fact his/her name.  Which means she often has to switch from the mother to the baby to have all the right people say all the right things.

[caption id="attachment_5182" align="alignleft" width="225"] Lotta at the Science and Industry Museum in Chicago[/caption]

I'm not gonna play that game

Lotta has started asking, "How are you today?"  And when I say, "Great and how are you?"  Lotta responds, "I am not gonna play that game."  Which leaves me feeling as if I'm already living with a teenager AND highly confused.

I KNOW!

As many of you know, when Ellie was given a compliment, she would often respond, "I know!" completely agreeing with the compliment giver and embracing the beauty of her dress or her intelligence or kindness.  Last night, Lotta painted for me.  When she presented her gift, I proclaimed how beautiful it was and how I just loved the colors.  Suddenly, Lotta said, "I KNOW!"  in the exact same tone of voice of Ellie.  I love the confidence and the total willingness to see her own strengths.

The Sign of an Excellent Spring Break

[caption id="attachment_5194" align="alignright" width="225"] Dariush, his brother from another mother (Ben), Sophia, and Bella search for Easter Eggs.[/caption]

For the two years since Ellie passed, we have made it our tradition to travel to Pranee, the gorgeous land in the middle of Tennessee owned by my sister and family.  Having Ellie's grave site there (marked by an angel and pink crystals) seems to be only an excuse to get us to gather with family and enjoy the beauty.

At one point, Thom, my sister Susan, my nephew Dariush and Ben all went on a hike while I stayed at the Big Red Barn (our accommodations) reading a magazine while my nieces Bella and Sophia played with Lotta.  Not much of a better plan for an 8-month pregnant woman I'd say.  As they we were hiking, Dariush asked Susan, "Is this what's it's like to have a brother?"  And Susan replied she thought it probably was.  Dariush decided that he would enjoy having a brother.

[caption id="attachment_5186" align="alignleft" width="225"] Lotta poses beside Ellie's angel.[/caption]

As we were driving home, I asked everyone in the car what they most wanted to show the baby (only 4 more weeks until full term!!)  Ben responded that he most wanted to show the baby Pranee.  That's quite an endorsement from an 8-year-old.

The sign to me of a truly excellent vacation is when you are as excited to go as you are to return home.  That was most definitely the case.  Our first day home, Lotta could not stop playing with all of her toys.  She had a hard time leaving the house to go grocery shopping (one of her current favorite pastimes) as it seemed a big disruption.

A Naked Uniform

[caption id="attachment_4864" align="alignleft" width="300"] Lotta modeling her summer ensemble.[/caption]

For awhile when I would ask Lotta to put something away she would inform me that she was in fact, "too little" to perform such an elaborate task.  I've found if I don't use cleaning/picking up as a punishment then my kids will scramble to be a "helper".  So I (try) not to push and instead encourage when I do see cleaning/picking up happening.

The other day, Lotta was running around the house naked.  A past time that has increased since she has discovered how to dress and undress herself.  Apparently, this is THE BEST way to dance.  Completely naked.  Well as Lotta was attempting to twirl, she noticed books strewn about the floor which had been our reading material earlier (in the dressed phase of our day).  Lotta looked down and requested that I clean up the mess.  Anyone who has been pregnant knows that the 8-month-mark is NOT the greatest time to bend down picking things up off the floor.  I, in turn, requested that Lotta pick up the books.  She stopped, considered this, and said, "Me too naked".  Which prompted me to get naked and say, "Yeah, who's the most naked now?"  Just kidding, not my best time to be naked (remember that 8-months pregnant thing?) Lotta ended up bringing the books to me so that I could re-shelve them....

Ears at the Busstop

One day this week I wore bunny ears to the bus stop.  Absolutely no reaction from Ben whatsoever.  However, the other bus stop guardians laughed and joked about my ears.  The bus driver himself laughed when he saw me.  So I figured to get a response from Ben, I needed to bump it up a notch.

The next day I arrived at the bus stop in butterfly wings.  Again, children walking home from school, pointed and smiled.  Ben got off the bus without a reaction.  I continued to don the butterfly wings.  As I was making after school snack, I caught Ben eyeing my wings.  I inquired as to whether he had noticed I'd had bunny ears on the previous day.  He responded that he had indeed noticed, he just didn't even know how to respond to it.

Lotta Lotta Laughs...

[caption id="attachment_5052" align="alignright" width="225"] Lotta in her fancy Christmas dress provided by Aunt Linda. If Lotta sees it in the laundry she immediately must put it on without delay.[/caption]

Lotta has been into interviewing whomever is around with whatever object happens to be microphone like nearby.  Typically her interview goes like this, "What you name Momma?"  "What you name Ben?"  Recently she has started adding singing to her microphone play.  Yesterday, Lotta was utilizing a hairbrush to sing a little song she was creating.  At request, I joined in on the fun and began singing quite wholeheartedly about how we were going to go to the grocery store.  At first this amused and delighted my daughter.  Suddenly, things changed, and she said, "Please no sing mommy."  Sort of felt like I got booted from a talent competition.

Ben recently acquired the card game, "Would You Rather".  In the game you are given 2 choices, for example, "Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf?"  One of the questions asked if we would rather grow a giraffe neck OR grow our bums twice it's size.  I responded that since pregnancy is very much like growing your bum twice it's size, I 'd try something new with the giraffe neck.  Everyone else at the table agreed the giraffe neck would be preferred.

Until it was Lotta's turn.  Lotta decided she would absolutely grow her booty because then she would have more to shake.  She even stood in her booster chair (not recommended by the manufacturer) to show us how she would groove with her new enhanced derriere.

Peanut Poop

[caption id="attachment_5093" align="alignright" width="300"] Lotta wearing a toddler toilet seat as a necklace. How does she come up these thing? Brilliant.[/caption]

Lotta and I have been enjoying peanuts and chocolate chips as an afternoon pick-me-up snack.  One day, as we were eating, she suddenly picked up a chocolate chip and said, "Peanut poop".  I think she might be a genius.  I'm sure her grandparents would back me up on that.

Seeking to Hide

[caption id="attachment_5106" align="alignright" width="225"] Her e is what Ben looks like when he is NOT amused by Lotta and her antics.[/caption]

Ben and Lotta have been very into playing hide-n-seek lately.  Lotta has one spot she continually hides in.  If you don't immediately go to that spot, she will alert you to her location.  Which although it makes for a short game, is totally fine if Lotta and I are the only two participants.  If, however, Ben is also playing, he is not amused that Lotta will make sure that I know exactly where he is right away.  Poor guy just wants to play the game properly.

Lotta has been watching a new PBS kids series called, Daniel Tiger.  It is a remake of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood and explores issues relevant to a 2-year-old.  Sharing, going to bed, waiting.  There is one song in particular she enjoys from the show about trying.  Now every time I have any kind of pregnancy discomfort, Lotta will encouragingly sing that line to me, "Keep trying, you'll get better."

Today for some reason, Lotta, as she is washing her hands and rinsing out the kitchen sink, keeps yelling, "Me have no time!!"  as if she is some high powered executive without a minute spare.

Guide to Lotta words:

mold=more

daddy could be daddy or doggie

lion could be lion or could be flossing (we get tricked by this one almost every night)

ing ee= string cheese or it could mean cream cheese

Amazing how many words have the sounds she cannot yet make for example "s".

 

 

Lotta Laughs

Two-year-olds and their accidental humor.  Keeps me entertained much of the day.

The other morning, I'd given Lotta some Cheerios in a small bowl that she had then proceeded to dump all over the floor.  When I saw the mess, I requested that Lotta put the bowl in the kitchen rather than on the floor.  She looked at me and stated, "Me no like Cheerios".  Then suddenly, the dumped bowl of Cheerios was not a mess, but rather, a statement.

Lotta and Ben like playing baby dragon right now which entails Ben being a baby Dragon and Lotta taking care of said baby Dragon.  As they were playing in the tub, Lotta suddenly said, "Ben likes me most of the time."  Which seemed actually pretty astute.

The other morning, I came downstairs with a band-aide on my hand.  Lotta looked at me, inquiring what had happened.  I explained that I had an owe-y and just needed a band-aide to protect it.  Lotta looked at me seriously and said, "That bad."

Our bathroom has had some ceiling issues.  As in at one point, rain was pouring into our bathroom from the roof, much to Ben's delight.  Well, we thought we'd finally corrected the problem when a stain started appearing on the ceiling again.  When Thom went to touch it, he accidentally left a hole.  Although the problem has been corrected, the hole remains.  Now every time we are exploring around the house, if Lotta sees something that is broken, she assumes "Daddy did it.  That make me mad."

Outrageously Courageous

[caption id="attachment_5112" align="alignright" width="300"] Thanksgiving Dinner at a restaurant![/caption]

I have had a few people question my sanity of having another child.  Typically another, mom, who in a moment of exasperation cannot imagine how or why I would want to have another child.  Of course there will be learning curve, there always is.  The last time I had a newborn in the house, and three children, one of those children was dying.  There were things I handled and did then that I cannot imagine how in retrospect.  I suppose there is a part of me that feels if I could do THAT then having another baby and a 2-year-old and an 8-year-old will be a breeze in comparison.  I mean I could utilize that experience to bring me down, to destroy me in some irreparable way, or I could allow that time to define me, to build me up, to let me know that I have strength I never could have imagined before experiencing a newborn and death together, hand in hand.  I am not saying that at times this missing-ness doesn't bring me to my knees, what I am saying is I will not let this grief define who I am.  I will experience it, brush myself off, and I know Ellie would want me to allow the experience to strengthen rather than weaken me.  But truly, I cannot think of anything better than a newborn to add our our already fantastically amazing family.  Let's go on this roller coaster ride again!

Nice to Meet You

Ben has this game he likes to play with Lotta where he sticks out his hand and says, "Nice to meet you."  Then Lotta shakes his hand.  This little scenario has provided hours of entertainment value for the two of them.  It's their thing.

A few days ago, I was finishing cleaning up downstairs and encouraged Lotta to go upstairs with Thom and Ben.  I told her, "Go upstairs and I will meet you up there when I'm finished."  As she raced towards the stairs, she yelled, "Otay, nice to meet you Mamma."

Snow Angels

[caption id="attachment_5041" align="alignleft" width="300"] Ben and Lotta mount one of the snow piles after the BIG snow storm (lotta angel dust).[/caption]

Yesterday as we were walking from the bus stop, snow was lightly falling.  Ben said that he thought the snow was special dust being thrown by the angels from the clouds.  He thought that since it was almost Ellie's birthday she wanted to give us this gift of Angel Dust.  I informed Ben that the day Ellie was born, there was a huge blizzard in Chicago, maybe that was all of Ellie's angel friends reminding her who she really was.  No new snow today on what would have been Ellie's 13th birthday, but that didn't stop us from recognizing all the gifts she has given us!  We are sucky (so lucky!!)

 

Bus Stopping

[caption id="attachment_5021" align="alignright" width="300"] Lottta (with hat on) and Ben.[/caption]

Since Lotta has given up her nap, we have, while out and about, suddenly needed to rush home to make it in time to collect Ben.  I have explained how Ben would be so sad if we weren't at the bus stop to greet him.  He would probably cry.  Yesterday, we were home, dressing ourselves for the anticipated bus.  First Lotta wanted to wear Ellie's "jilled" hat.  Then she noticed I had on my warmest hat, a bear hat given to me by one of my lovely Jennifers (thanks again, Jenny!).  Lotta decided she needed to wear her bear hat from Uncle Kippy.  Then Lotta wanted to wear mittens, so we scurried around trying to find the teeny tiny mittens that fit her hands.  Finally Lotta determined that she did not in fact want to wear a hat at all because, after all, it was not raining (I think she meant snowing here as we'd discussed how the snow can make your hair wet and you know how she feels about wet hair, she is NOT a fan.)  As I peeked out the front door, I saw the bus at the corner.  Lotta and I raced out the door in a panic.  Lotta proclaiming the whole way as she ran, "BEN WE ARE COMING!!! BEN WE ARE COMING!!"  It was such a compassionate, sweet thing to do, worried that Ben would be scared and sad, she attempted to re-assure him from up the block.

[caption id="attachment_5018" align="alignleft" width="300"] Lotta copies Ben measuring his wing span at the zoo.[/caption]

Later that afternoon, Lotta was having a melt down about markers.  She wanted to use my permanent markers, I wanted her to use her washable markers.  I was going upstairs to retrieve her markers, while Lotta was crying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. (Two-year-olds are so so excellent at the dramatic throw down and cry, I've found.)  Ben came over and said to Lotta, "Lotta do you need a Ben hug?"  Lotta replied that she did not.  Ben assured her that when she did need a hug, he would be available.  As I descended the stairs, I saw Ben carrying Lotta, as Lotta gave him a full-on, four-limbed hug (you know the kind, where you utilize the legs in the hug in addition to the more traditionally utilized arms).

Those two are such a pair!  I am completely and utterly amazed at their love and camaraderie and compassion towards one another.  I know this a rare and unique gem to have siblings, so young, adore each other so much.

Like a Raisin

I recall maybe 5 years ago reading that Brad Pitt was going through a "midlife crisis".  And I thought, "What?!?!?"  I don't understand, he's MY age?!?!

Then more recently, I received an e-mail informing me that they were starting a new "empty nester's group" for people aged 40-60.  Again, I was shocked.  I am not anywhere near being an empty nester, I'm still filling it up!

The other day Lotta gave me a big hug in front of our mirror.  I noticed the laugh lines around my eyes.  I felt proud of them.  As if they were a badge proclaiming all the years I had the privilege of laughing, having fun.  The looked particularly beautiful to me pressed up against Lotta's sweet, smooth "perfect" skin.

Mommy Back Home

So Lotta has been in the process of giving up her nap.  At this point it is either have her take a late afternoon nap when she needs it and then have her stay up watching adult programming with Thom and I, or have her skip a nap and go to bed when Ben does.  This means, of course, that there are times when she becomes incredibly tired.  This has allowed Lotta to be on the go more which she enjoys.  So on Wednesday, Lotta and I had sort of attended her Toddler Yoga Class.  It being  a bit warmer (above freezing!), I wanted a walk.  I had thought the class started at 10:30, but alas, it actually started at 10:15.  When we arrived at the library, the class was still in session, however, Lotta was determined to play on one of the new computers, while I was determined to not cause another scene at the library.  After she'd played on the computer and with a variety of other library toys (a doll house, puzzles, puppet show)  Lotta then felt good and ready to attend class, but again, alas, the class was long over.

After lunch at home, Lotta and I decided to go to Goodwill in search of shirts to decorate for the 13 days of Ellie.  Lotta was excited to leave so quickly after our previous outing.  Of course any time you are dealing with a 2-year-old, the time preparation is extensive.  Even changing a diaper turns into a 20 minute activity as Lotta has to gather all of her stuffed animal friends, show how extremely high she can jump, request that her previously mentioned friends get diapered first, etc. etc. etc.

Finally finally we were out the door and on our way.  We pulled into the parking lot and Lotta told me, "Me just stay in car."  Hello?!?  I mean this isn't 1976 where that sort of behavior would be acceptable.  I cajoled and pleaded with her to no avail.  I mentioned the toys in the store and the shoes (she adores trying on shoes).  None of my usual tricks were working.  I brought her kicking and screaming into the store.  Probably, the opposite of what any parenting book would advise.  I put her in the cart.  She continued to howl, yelling, "Let me OUT!!  Let me OUT!!"  I released her from her cart prison, where she immediately performed a limp fall to the floor so popular with the toddler set.  I continued to attempt rational conversation.  Finally, I gave up.  I couldn't believe we had actually made it to the store and were just going to give up without.  I was completely peeved.  I took Lotta out of the cart, gathered our things and instructed her to walk out the door.

Suddenly all became quiet.  She turned to me and said, "Me OK."  Boy was I confused.  She was suddenly inexplicably ready to shop.  All throughout our shopping venture, Lotta was the picture of sweetness.  Having recovered myself and ever so appreciative that we were actually able to accomplish our goal, I returned to my former calmer self.  Lotta and I basically had a big love fest going on in that store, me assuring Lotta how much I adored her with lots of hugs and kisses and Lotta proclaiming, "Mommy back home."  Meaning she was happy that "mommy" was back replacing "Crazy Mamma" who had been in attendance before.  Which I thought was pretty profound because when I was in the space of Crazy Mamma, it was as if I had completely left the building (or left her in the car).  And now, Lotta recognized the true me was back.  Like I always told Ben, it's the reconnecting that is so sweet after those big messy melt downs.

 

Seeker of the Magnificent

[caption id="attachment_5077" align="alignright" width="225"] Magnificent children snuggling![/caption]

Maybe a week before holiday break, I walked with Lotta to Ben's school.  It was a chilly cloudy day, the big snow had not yet fallen.  Suddenly, as I came up over a bridge I just had the indescribably delicious feeling of everything being so magnificent.  And I wondered where this feeling hid itself so much of the time.  And I wondered whether or not I could seek this Magnificence on a daily basis.  What would I need to give up to be this kind of seeker?  What stands in my way?  Self-doubt?  Worry?  Fear?  Just like Ellie continually looking for those yellars (yellow cars) what would I discover if I searched for magnificence?  So for 2013, I will be a Seeker of the Magnificent. And what better time than when I am miraculously pregnant for the 4th time.  What is more magnificent than a new born baby, or even the growing of that baby inside?

Bach Bach

As you may or may not know, Thom loves his chickens.  And now, so does Ben.  Last night, as we were eating bedtime snack, Lotta was standing in the kitchen swinging her arms back and forth.  You know, the way little kids often do.  In one of her hands was a tiny toy chicken.  Suddenly, I noticed a piece of something on the floor.  I inquired what had dropped out of Lotta's hand.  She nonchalantly stated, "Poop".  Which surprised me until I realized she just assumed that the chicken in her hand had pooped on the floor.  I mean it's a risk you take when holding a chicken, right?

Being a life coach, I like to ask the hard questions.  The other day, I questioned what was Ben's favorite part of our home.  I love the way Ben responds, he is unafraid that he is going to give the "wrong" answer and just immediately responds with the first thought in his head.  He enthusiastically stated that the chickens were his favorite part of our home.  When I asked Lotta the same, she responded, "Bach Bach" which is what she calls the chickens.  I  found it interesting that even though Ben said the word "chicken" Lotta was still able to utilize her own word, "Bach bach".

Recently we took a trip to St. Louis to visit Thom's parents and younger brother and family.  On long trips, there is a drive though coffee shop we visit before embarking on our trip.  We bought Ben and Lotta a smoothie from said shop (in a tiny coffee cup, Ben's favorite).  I had taken Lotta's smoothie and put in the front cup holder to avoid a spill.  Suddenly, Lotta started caterwauling, "Moovie movie!!!"  Since she doesn't have her "s" sound yet, I assumed she was saying "smoothie",  when I handed her her cup, she continued to say, "NO movie movie!!"  Then I realized she actually was saying movie.  Oops.  I imagined in her mind how ridiculous it all was, how much more can I pronounce this word "moooovie???"  before they get it??  Geesh people.