[/caption]After being in the hospital for a week and a half, things out in the "real world" start to seem a bit surreal. Culture shock. I mean the hospital has its own time zone and language for crying out loud! How could I not get culture shock? Going to the bus stop in the morning and waiting with the other parents can feel mighty jarring. Pretending I will go home and have a "normal day". Maybe watch The View or go to the grocery store or tackle the mountain of laundry in my living room. We are walking a tightrope in in-between land where we are uncertain whether our lives will look similar to how it did before this hospital stay or extremely different or maybe somewhere in between. Unfortunately, there are no maps in in-between land. You have to make your own path along the way.
Dr. Iskandar, neurosurgeon extraordinaire, stopped by this morning. He was cautiously optimistic that because of the shunt revision we will see a change for the better over the next days or weeks. We are getting ready to go for an MRI because when she woke up at 1pm, she was only speaking only gibberish and she was pretty agitated. An EEG is also ordered to check for seizures.
The lessons from Ellie have been so incredible, at times, like a salve on a wound, reminding me of all the joy Ellie has spread far and wide. Here is another one, from my Aunt Doris.
Ellie has taught me the meaning of strength. I have never known anyone with as much strength as she has. Think she passed a little of it on to her Mom and Dad as well. God bless each and everyone of you. Love, Aunt Doris
Ah, I often think the "unknown" is the trickiest...finding myself just wanting to know, so I can know what to gear myself up for or look forward to or prepare for. Why can't we just know that we'll be ready and are fully prepared for whatever comes after in-between land?
ReplyDeleteI feel for you in the in-between land.
Love to you.