Birthday Pandemic Style

We began to discuss alternative plans.  In order to protect her heart, Zibbi immediately began saying how she didn't really want a big party, she actually preferred a family event.  She decided instead of a sleepover (which she was hoping to have for the first time with her best friend), we would have a family sleepover.  After giving me a list of newly created detailed instructions for her birthday, she informed me she really wanted a "surprise" party.  I explained that a surprise party and detailed plans are antonyms of one another.  She clarified that what she really wanted was for everyone to jump out and yell, "Surprise" at her.As I was straightening Zibbi's room this morning, I came across the sign she'd made informing her guests how she wanted them to dress up for her birthday party.  It filled me with wistfulness and yearning to read this list from another era all together.  This time of year is so filled with endings and students are not getting to experience the usual rituals and celebrations--graduations, proms, ALL those end of school year events.  When I came across that sign Zibbi had made when we thought what the future held was so different than what it did, it hit me like a gut punch.  Grief often seems to be sneaky like that.  (And I know it is SMALL compared to the pain and anguish so many are facing right not--illness, death, loss of home, joblessness.)   

 

 

I wrote this on May 22nd, then, I didn't have the will or strength to post it.  I felt like I was being too whiny or negative, I was trying to protect my image, I suppose.  Now, however, I have decided that I want to document this time, in ALL of its many shades.  So hold on while we time travel back to May....

Back in March, Zibbi began her birthday planning in earnest.  Her vision was a tea party where everyone would dress up.  We had a great many talks about exactly how she wanted her celebration to go.  She set aside all the costumes.  She created a box of items she would need. Then the pandemic hit the US.  Schools closed.  The prediction was that Wisconsin would peak exactly on Zibbi's birthday, May 22nd.  

                                                                                              

Evelyn arrived this morning to surprise Zibbi with an outdoor/socially distanced chat.  Zibbi sat in our van while Evelyn sat in a chair 10 feet away.  Evelyn gave Zibbi the same Barbie Mermaid set she has, so they can Marco Polo play.  It  was surprisingly sweet.  Meanwhile, as we were outside, Thom, Benja and Lotta raced around the dining room, decorating it with streamers and signs.  When Zibbi returned inside, everyone shouted, "SURPRISE!"  To which, a shocked Zibbi, exclaimed, "Wait, what?  Are there more presents?"  No, in fact, there were not.  

No we cannot do what we would normally be doing to celebrate the passage of time.  We are being forced to reset our expectation and be way more creative. I appreciate that Zibbi was so very willing to come up with an alternative plan that worked for her.  It IS however exhausting.