I think sometimes the day before is worse than the day of. The anticipation. Trying to protect myself by being pre-sad so that maybe just maybe I will not feel so bad the day of. It never really works. Yet still my mind tries to set up protective fencing to ward off the hurt. Tomorrow it will be 10 years since Ellie passed. And as Thom said, soon she will be gone longer than she was with us. Hard to wrap my brain around this passing of time. At the same time, with EVERYTHING going on around us in the world, the whole thing feels somewhat diminished, the storming of the Capitol, racial injustice, not to even mention a pandemic. I guess ONE benefit to living during this historic time is everything else just seems less in comparison.
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