January Blahs

 

January.  The let down month after all the holiday flurry.  When my sister has driven here from Memphis, she laments having to drive through Illinois.  IF only Illinois would gracefully step aside so she could cut off hours of driving.  I felt the same about driving through Kansas to get to Colorado as a child.  I know I know, both Illinois and Kansas have a LOT to offer.  They just also have a LOT of state to drive through.  THAT to me is January.  Somehow you have to get through the cold bleak month of January to arrive at February, one step closer to the first barely there whiff of spring in March (maybe, in Wisconsin, it is a safer bet to shoot for spring like weather in May).  And THIS January 13th marks the 10 year anniversary of Ellie's death.  We will soon arrive at a time when she will have been dead longer than she was alive.  As she would have pointed out, that's wange (weirdly strange). 

And then her birthday on the 26th when she would have been 21(!?!!??)  When I think about it, January is really such an excellent representation of Ellie's life.  It seems so daunting.  How will we ever make it through?  Then, it brings all these unexpected delights, along with the waiting and slogging through.  It has ALL the feels.  It's like the times when I suddenly felt so happy to be sitting in a hospital room with Ellie, when from the outside, that prospect probably only looked like stress.  Or the joy of making unexpected friends with the nurses and doctors.  This particular January has thrown the delight of Rine Ice at us.  Rine ice is ice formed on objects (in this case trees) from freezing fog.  When you look outside now, a parade of white awaits your eyes, an absolutely magical winter wonderland.  Just as I was bracing myself for the harshness and longevity of January, I am greeted with the wonder and beauty of nature.