I actually DID tell her everything

 

At Central Library years ago...

I mentioned previously how much I enjoy chatting up the Marquette Librarian.  She just truly seems interested in every single thought I have in my head.  Tuesday was library pick up and I had a lot stored up in my head that needed to come out of my mouth.  I explained how Lotta is now talking about walking herself home from school, so that I can walk Zibbi (or Lotta could actually walk Zibbi if I need her to, suddenly so very many options. are opening up.)  I was lamenting the fact that it feels like we will emerge from this pandemic and Lotta will have missed some of her childhood milestones.  As I have mentioned previously, she may be already finished with playing on the playground.  I think it is so much more challenging to NOT know when something is the final time.  Like with Ellie, she went on hospice care and her teacher asked if they should take her off the roster.  And I just could NOT fathom that we had completed Ellie's final day of school.  I couldn't wrap my mind around the thought that without ceremony or fanfare we said good bye with OUT actually getting to say good bye.  I feel the same now, as I am faced with the possibility of Lotta ending her elementary career without actually returning to the school.  Without the bridging ceremony (from elementary school to middle school).  And Zibbi not returning to Lapham, her final year there before she moves onto Marquette.  I know in the grand scheme of things none of these really matter.  They aren't graduations or weddings.  Yet, these little ceremonies help mark the passage of time.  When I arrived home, I told Thom that I had, once again, told Maegan absolutely EVERYTHING.  I explained how when I told her about Lotta walking herself to school, Maegan said, "You know we had this exact conversation when Ben started walking to school on his own?"  And Thom responded, "Wow!  You really DID tell her everything."  Not exaggerating.  THIS time.