Coming Out

The day before national coming out day, Benja (formerly known as Ben), started talking about the day.  We often talk about social political topics, so it was not that out of character.  I discussed how challenging it had been for my brother and how I hoped it was easier now.  Then the night before, he accidentally head slammed Lotta into the wall when he was playing with the girls.  Which unfortunately, again, is not that out of character.  He doesn't mean to hurt them, it just happens.  (Zibbi has taken to telling Benja that she doesn't love him, she likes him.  I think she's trying to say the phrase where you tell a child, "I will always love you, I just sometimes don't like what you do."  Or, she's trying to let him know, he still needs to work on winning her love.  They are at the like phase, not yet onto the love phase.)  Anyway.  After the head slam, Benja, as an apology, said, that I could go ahead and tell Aunt Susan that he is gay, as an apology.  I was like, "what??" I became super excited.  I texted

Susan, "All our dreams are coming true, Benja just came out!"  Years previously, we'd discussed how absolutely fabulous it would be to have our sons be gay and fantastic like our brother, Kip and his fantastic husband, Patrick.  Then, I worried that maybe I was TOO excited.  So I somehow reigned myself back in and told Benja that I would love whomever he loved because I love him.  The whole thing was so shocking because he had never ever expressed interest in being attracted to anyone.  Any time I would mention anything remotely related to dating, sex, puberty he would suddenly become highly interested in the surrounding

architecture.  Now he is extremely into embracing gay culture, and what that means to him--giving fashion and decorating advice, wearing numerous rainbows at a time, enjoying broadway musicals....