One of the mom's who lost a child described to me how every year around the time her daughter died her life was just a disorienting wasteland. She just found she was unable to function. She had decided that she wanted to do something differant this year--make a decision, rather than feeling as if that time just happened to her. I appreciated and admired both of these ideas--setting aside time for all the myriad of emotions this time of year brings AND making a conscious choice of how to spend this time.In order to honor and remember Ellie this year, we have planned 13 days of celebrating, from January 13th, the day she passed until January 26 the day she was born. An opportunity to remember and celebrate all that Ellie’s life taught us. Each day we will light candles to remember her (because BEN loves candles). We invite you to join with us. Listed below are Ellie inspired suggestions (maybe you have your own ideas to add). Not knowing everyone else’s schedule, we decided it might be best to allow you and your family to choose which activities you will participate in and when you will do them. (Perhaps you could print this page and cut it into strips and draw an activity at random.) Please feel free to share your experiences with the Ellie community on this blog www.njoybooks.com/sunnydays.
What to Wear What to Wear
Something extra fancy (Fancy Nancy-ish).
Style your hair crazy. Crazy for you might be defined differently than crazy for someone else.
Wear one of Ellie’s favorite colors today—Pink, Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, and Purple and remember blue will never do.
A funny, surprising hat
Movie/Television Fun
Ellie was a dedicated movie fan, to a few classics. She would downright refuse to watch anything new because she felt like she had already witnessed the BEST; anything else would be a waste of her time. Choose one of Ellie’s favorite movies to watch:
Grease. Sing along with Danny’s sad song (aka Hopelessly Devoted to You). For the rest of the day whenever anything bothers you, sing what is bothering you to the tune of this song (just as Ellie did when she was four or five).
Mary Poppins. Look for the magic all around you today.
Singing in the Rain, Ellie would never have wanted to do this but the movie is great.
I have confidence is a song Maria sings as she departs the Abbey in The Sound of Music. When someone gives you a compliment today, respond with, “I know.” Just as Ellie used to. She knew that her dress was fantastic and would agree enthusiastically with the person giving her a compliment.
Music Man (older or newer version) and sing along. Particularly the older version was the one I would put on in the hospital when Ellie was feeling tired because it is long (maybe 3 hours?). If she fell asleep, I would just keep the movie going, she would wake back up, look up, see the movie on and continue watching, as if to say, "Oh yeah, that is what I was doing, watching Music Man." The original was her favorite.
Have a day dedicated to Sesame Street. Watch an episode of Sesame Street. Wear some Sesame Street attire or read a Sesame Street book. A special Sesame Street video Zoe’s Dance Moves was given to Ellie on her Make-A-Wish trip.
Sid the Science Kid, Ellie liked this show mostly for the crazy hair.
Ellie’s one and only movie theatre movie was Chicken Run.
Eating Suggestions
Ellie had her favorite foods, didn’t she? During one phase she refused to eat anything but restaurant food. Something Esther deemed “smart.”
Chocolate chip pancakes and/or chocolate chip cookies, the bigger the better.
Chips with ridges (the liney kind)
Visit your local Indian Food buffet. Tandoori chicken and naan were her favs.
Eat a meatsa pizza (pizza with lots of meat on it).
Thai Fried Rice
Chicken Swarma from a Mediterranean place.
Sausage links not patties.
Activities
Have a moment of silence. Then stop yourself and proclaim how much you HATE not being able to talk. Instead tit tat (talk chit chat) with whomever is around. Maybe make a “date” with someone to have coffee and talk.
Make a batch of chocolate chip cookies and deliver them to your local children’s hospital or Ronald McDonald House.
Have fun with sand today.
Sing to yourself today.
Make a wish today and absolutely know you can make it come true.
Refuse to wear mittens.
Make a stranger a friend today. Know that everyone you meet is a friend waiting to happen.
Go to the library today and check out an inordinate amount of books. When you get home snuggle down in bed to read them. One of the many things Ellie was good at was snuggling down in bed for a good story.
Play Office with someone. That means you each get to work on a project of your choice, but you are in the same room.
Look at someone with loving eyes. Eyes so filled with love as if you know who that person REALLY is.
Smile or talk to someone differently abled. Or at the very least give him/her eye contact letting him/her know that you see.
Buy a happy face balloon. Find something excellent to do with said balloon. (You could take it to a kid in the hospital or even use it decorate your own home.)
When someone says, “Have a nice day,” respond with, “It is too late.” Pause, pause, pause. “I already am.” OR when someone asks how you are today, respond with “Jilled.” (joy filled)
Visit the giraffe at the zoo.
Make some crayon art.
Give away a teddy bear (for example, we are going to give a teddy bear to our local Hospice Care, as they collect them for families in their care).
Play with your fingers or toes today. Remember this is a toy you always have with you.
When someone says, “Thank You” respond with “You’re welcome.”, even if they are on television.
Take a walk and look for yellars (yellow cars).
Wear no socks (around your house) regardless of the temperature outside.
Begin (or continue) a gratitude journal. This was one of Ellie’s favorite dinner activities.
Create a photo album or wall of love today.
Use or make-up Ellie words today. Attempt to make up a 13 syllable word.
Review Ellie’s huggle snuggles (at www.njoybooks.com/huggle) and attempt to give each kind today.
Know that you are interesting enough to be your own channel. Pretend as though you are a series of television shows throughout the day.
Challenge for the week: have short term memory loss. When something bothers, irritates, angers, or frustrates you, feel the feeling and then forget about it. Totally forget about it. Especially good for those you live with!
Draw a warm bath. As you lower yourself into it, exclaim, “AAHHH”.
Notice all the beautiful colors around you today. For extra points, you can exclaim, as Ellie would, “Pink!” or “Yellow!” when you notice them. (We even made a joke of yell “oh”)
Buy yourself a rose or a dozen in one of Elisabeth ROSE’s favorite colors—pink, red, orange, yellow, green, and purple.
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