The Gift of Not Giving

A few weeks ago, Ben's teacher told me how they were so impressed at a drawing Ben was working on.  He had explained to his teachers how the train he was drawing was taking items to the "poor" people.  His teachers were way impressed with how generous this was.

Right after that, we took a sojourn to Walmart.  I "paid" Ben for this trip to Walmart with a tiny Lego set.  It was the most exciting part of his weekend, even more exciting than the Wish Walk that Sunday.  As we were leaving the store, we came across a humongous jar (taller than Ben even) with dollar bills and coins in the bottom.  Ben, who has been pondering ways to make money, inquired what this money was for.  I read the sign and explained that it was for a children's hospital.  Ben scoffed.  He was appalled.  He said, "I would NEVER give money to them."  In that moment, I was tired and hot and possibly slightly hungry and was working hard to get us out of the store.  (I can only tolerate so much of the Walmart vibe, I don't know why, and particularly this Walmart which is a bit run down.)

[caption id="attachment_4276" align="alignleft" width="225" caption="Ben in a tree on Capital lawn"][/caption]

At first I felt as if I should explain to Ben why it might be a kind act to give children in the hospital money.  Then I realized that his experience of Ellie being in the hospital was not something that was bad, that we needed help with.   Coupled with that is how much fun Ben always had at the hospital, it was a place of total abundance, why would you possibly give more money to that?  There was a kitchen stocked with tiny, kid-sized cereals, milks, juices, bagels.  Free dinners with yummy bread sticks were provided for us frequently.  There was an Ice Cream Cart on Tuesdays.  To top it off, when he went to sibling care he was showered with love and attention and lots and lots of craft/art projects.  Plus he witnessed all the gifts, toys and blankets, given to Ellie.  He was scoffing, because from his experience this was the LAST place that needed more money.  It filled me with appreciation that this was his take-away from the hospital, rather than a much more dismal, dreary, sad picture.  Suddenly something that initially felt like a "problem" transformed into an "ah-ha" moment.