For Crying Out Loud!!!

As many of you know, I am an avid Zumba fan.  What is Zumba you may ask?  It is an aerobic dance party.  Almost every time I go to Zumba, there is a moment when all thought disappears and I am simply in the moment, completely enjoying the movement and music.  Pure bliss.  It reminds me of a quote my extremely talented mother-in-law just sent me. 

"We must try to take life moment by moment.  The actual present is usually pretty tolerable I think, if only we refrain from adding to its burden that of the past and the future."--CS Lewis

Unfortunately, recently, I have had a challenging time not crying at Zumba.  I try to get it out on the car ride there, but typically it spills over into class.  I have tried wearing a hat to make it less obvious, but I may have to resort to sunglasses too.  Which may not do anything for making me less obvious.  A loud voice in my head responds to all this blubbering with, "THERE IS NO CRYING IN ZUMBA!!!"  Which is why I found this recent e-mail from the amazing Amy, my sister-in-law, so very appropriate.   

 

[caption id="attachment_3148" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="The amazing Amy"][/caption]

 One lesson I have learned from Ellie, her inspiring parents and her inspiring younger siblings is to Live Out Loud. This means you are living with your experiences on the outside of your face… letting people in to see your jilled moments, your crobbing (crying + sobbing) moments (Ellie would say I needed to practice some more), your frabjous moments (Lewis Carroll used this one for fabulous + joyous, not sure where the “r” came from). Living Out Loud allows other people to come a little closer to where you are and to share life with you. Ellie Lives Out Loud. You know when she’s jilled. She doesn’t try to hide her crobbing either.



 Recently, I’ve been browsing card shoppes to find that card that speaks what I am feeling, praying and intending for Thom, Debi, Ellie, Ben and Lotta. There is NO CARD for this scenario that I have found. (The closest candidates I have purchased and then either thrown out or sent as a belated birthday card to a different friend which tells you how specific it was … but back to browsing) I cannot do this survey of the card sections without crying. Instead of just surreptitiously wiping the tears, I’ve been tempted to cry out loud. People have grief experiences. Why do we try to pretend we don’t? Why do we reserve them for our alone times?

 Sharing each others’ lives requires a little crying out loud, and definitely, living out loud. Thank you, Ellie, for that life lesson.

 Love and tears and smiles and good memories,

Aunt Amy