When the Woolly Mammoth Roamed...

We ventured to Horicon Marsh on Sunday for some labor day weekend fun.  (I suddenly realized it was the end of May and we needed to make the trek before the mosquitoes descend on Wisconsin.)  There is a large Woolly Mammoth statue near the education center.  As we were walking away from Mammoth, I heard Zibbi mumbling to herself grumpily, "It's Woolly MamooSS, not Woolly MamoTH.  Woolly Mammoth doesn't even make sense."  I just adore her confidence.  Even when she is so wrong.

Spelling tests, Sports and Final Concerts

Spelling Tests

One of Lotta's least favorite parts of 3rd grade are the spelling tests.  A few weeks ago, she came home with the word "wide " misspelled, as "whyed ".  I explained to her teacher that Lotta was spelling the word correctly.  As in, my little sister just about "whyed" me to death.  Why did that ambulance race by?  Why is the grass green?  Why are we going home?  

Sports

Zibbi Dramatically Dancing

Next week is Zibbi's birthday.  Meaning, she will have the great honor of being "friend of the week" in her class.  One night before sleep, I asked her what this entailed.  She informed me that her teacher would be sending home papers with more information, including a poster we would need to complete.  Then Zibbi paused and said, "I'm going to need you to explain to me what a 'sport' is."  She explained that on the poster, there is a section with "favorite sport" on it.  As a musical theater lover, I felt I had really done my job, particularly while living in the middle of Green Bay Packer country.  I explained to her that sports are things like dancing, ice skating, soccer, swimming, biking, basketball, swimming.  

Final Concerts

Last night was Benja's last orchestra concert of Middle School.  Which we only discovered when his Agogo told him she would love to attend one of his concerts and he suddenly informed her that he actually has his last one on Wednesday, during her visit.  My mom, not knowing our history of waving at each other at concerts decided we should wave and embarrass Benja.  Instead, Benja completely turned the table on us and waved to the point where we couldn't even wave back.  And his BF Kai sat beside him and joined in because of the incredible peer pressure emanating from Benja.  All the other 8th graders made sure to NOT make eye contact with us.  And still Benja continued to excitedly wave.  It was like a comedy routine where the comedians keep going long after the joke is done.  

At one point, the conductor turned to the audience and explained that the next piece had three movements in it.  So, we should hold our applause until the very end of the piece, even though there would be breaks in the music.  Then he turned around to begin conducting and the whole audience erupted into applause.  I said, "Request denied" and then had a hard time not laughing.   Until the principal gave me a look, the look you never want to get from your principal.  

After all this time, noticing more Yellars...

Yesterday was the third grade field trip to a forest.  I volunteered and then immediately worried about it being a FULL day field trip.  Because the last full day school volunteer opportunity I participated in just felt like I was hungry ALL DAY long.  Which reminded me of how that was kind of my experience in school, just feeling a bit hungry all day.  The bus ride turned out to be more tenuous than I thought as the hot stuffy bus bouncy around AND over many large hills did nothing good for my stomach.  As I was attempting to keep everything down and not up, I had the realization that we would have to repeat this all to get home. 

As we hiked through the forest, Lotta became hungrier and hungrier.  (I guess I should have worried more about HER hunger levels...next time.)  As we explored the forest, we looked down to notice the bugs or plants growing down there.  Near the end, I looked down and there on the forest floor was a tiny piece of yellow crayon paper.  I was shocked.  As you may or may not recall, Ellie LOVED to break and peel crayons.  AND her favorite colors for awhile were orange and yellow.  So I was stunned to see this little reminder right there on this forest floor.  I turned to Lotta to express my amazement.  She just sighed and slumped some more, saying, "I'm just so hungry right now, I can't even..."  One of her classmates asked if she was "hangry", which didn't help the situation much. 

Then today (Saturday) Zibbi and I had  "date" to get

manicures at a local beauty school.  As we were leaving, Zibbi noticed some nail polishes on sale.  She begged me to get a fuschia color.  I was trying to convince her to choose a different color.  Zibbi turned the bottle over and asked me to read what the color was named.  "Ellie" it said.  Of course, we bought it.  How could we not?

I remember after Ellie died how often I would see reminders of her, it's been awhile since I've seen any.  Now, I feel primed for them, sort of like how Ellie started looking for yellow cars (yellars, as she called them) and suddenly they were EVERYWHERE.  During lunch at the field trip, I shared the story with a fellow mom (who just happens to work at Hospice).  She said she thought it was amazing that out of all the forest, I was able to find that little bit of magic.  I think I'll keep on looking for the magic...

13-Year-Old Logic

One morning over breakfast, for some unknown to me now reason, I was explaining to Zibbi my theory on parenting.  I contend that mothers get blamed, while fathers get credit.  Benja then jumped in to say, "No, I am pretty sure DAD came up with that theory..." 

Zibbi then responded, "I think Benja should get blamed and YOU should get credit."  What a little cheerleader she is.  (And poor Benja, he keeps trying to break through the "like" phase of their relationship and move up to "love".)

5- and 8- year-old Logic

On St. Patrick's Day, Lotta (8) insisted she would catch a Leprechan.  (Apparently, that is a "thing" right now).  That afternoon, we had a birthday party to attend.  Before the party, Lotta set a trap.  Around the trap were small houses for figurines, she made sure to put figurines in each of the houses, peering out the windows, so the Leprechan wouldn't be confused that it was a residence for HIM.  (How tall does she think they are??)  Throughout the party, Lotta kept mentioning how excited she was to catch a Leprechan.  It might be in the trap already! I kept cautioning, that Leprechans are extremely mysterious, they are not like Santa. (Zibbi informed me at the party that her thighs were getting bigger, like mine.  I said, you mean, longer?  She said, no, fatter.)  Anyway. 

 When we arrived home, Lotta excitedly ran to the trap.  Low and behold there was a tiny note with tiny writing (that I could not, in fact, read).  Lotta became suspicious however, as Benja (13), put his hands over his mouth and seemed to be smiling and laughing.  At dinner that night, Lotta explained that she thought Benja was involved.  She said that she thought Benja shrank down to Leprechan size and wrote a tiny note for Lotta to find. 

Now on to Zibbi logic...

The afternoons have started warming up a bit around here.  So now when Zibbi departs the bus, she has all of her layers off and tied strategically to her back pack.  A sweater, snow pants, a dress, a scarf, could all be tied on.  It's a good solution.  The only problem being she isn't tall enough for all of the items to not be dragged to through the slush and mud and puddles. 

Protesting the Protest

On Friday, Benja (13) participated in a climate march.  It included a walk out of school, a walk to East High School, then a walk to the capital.  I became concerned about the amount of walking AND the need for him to carry two bags--his diabetes bag and his lunch bag.  I suggested he bring his lunch in a plastic bag, so he could then put the bag inside his other bag.  Benja sighed and said, "MOM!  That is EXACTLY what we are marching against!"  His emotional response made me feel like he would in fact be sent the front and booed by his fellow protesters, for my even suggesting it.  I mean he has a point.

What Exactly are we "Saving" Here?

So Friday, we had a sunny warmer (in the upper 30s day!) Just in case you wanted to talk about the weather, it has been extremely cold and snowy for about the past two months.  So there was a great need for a bit of a reprieve.  Then, Saturday, alas it started raining.  Cold raining.  Which soon turned into more snow. 

Then today, Sunday, was daylight savings time.  I didn't used to feel so strongly AGAINST daylight savings time.  Prior to children, I had no real feelings about the whole thing.  Then, every year, with small children there is the struggle for bedtime, which now suddenly occurs in the DAYLIGHT.  And the opposite struggle to go back to awakening in the dark.  Sigh.

At bedtime, I was explaining to  Lotta (8) and Zibbi (5), how the time was changing, and we were losing an hour at midnight.  I further explained (complained?) that we all participate in this activity so that golfers can golf later in the daylight.  Lotta paused and said, "I can't imagine ANYONE golfing tomorrow." 

It Pays to Advertise

Wednesday was my birthday.  I once heard a comedian say that any adult who goes around telling everyone it is her birthday is a **** (insert derogatory word here).  I am most certainly one of those.  On March 6 (mark your calendars!) I made a point of telling all the clerks I encountered that day, and for my effrorts, I received for FREE a Starbucks Green Tea Latte (the largest size of course, the only size for a FREE), a Bloom cupcake, and flowers from Trader Joe's.  I just think, in a way, it's a service to announce that it's my birthday, so that everyone can join in on the celebrating!

And I must say, the employees at Bloom are so extra especially friendly.  Every single time I go in there, I end up giving them way too much information about my life.  And then upon returning, I repeat the mistake.  However, they are so extremely lovely that I end up feeling like the really DID want to know about my childhood. 

I was lucky enough to get to volunteer in Zibbi's kindergarten class room on my big day.  Zibbi insisted that I bring in a treat to share ("healthy" lollipops from Willy Street Co-op).  In exchange, the entire class made me posters they hung on the door.  SOOO sweet.  I mean how could posters from 5-year-olds NOT melt your heart??

I attended a workshop at Dreambank that same day (I know, busy day!) on Radical Relationship Responsibility and it was the presenter's birthday too!! (insert a gasp here) He mentioned that he turned 39, which meant he was exactly a decade younger than I.  When I explained how I was late because I had to pick up my FREE birthday Starbuck's .  He hit his chest and said, "Respect".  And I thought, there's that decade between us, I could never ever pull off saying "respect" that smoothly.  The following morning, I even tried it with Benja.  And he immediately rejected my attempt, with a loud and emphatic, "NO mom.  NO."   

Then Thursday, I volunteered in Lotta's class room and EVERYONE wished me a happy birthday.

Apparently, since Lotta did not have the great good fortune to have me IN her class room on THE day, she made sure to SHARE with EVERYONE that it was indeed my birthday.  Even people I did not know were wishing me a happy birthday.  Unfortunately, this time I did not bring treats to share, my bad (I can get away with THAT saying). 

The thing that makes my heart sing is my daughters being able (even at 5), to think of someone else's birthday experience.  Especially at 5, this is super challenging.  They saw how important it was to me and carried that into their day and made choices to spread joy to me.  Lately, I've been thinking of my children as time travelers.  Yes, Ellie is in the past.  But I so often see her around the neighborhood, in the bench at her school.  Or in the books that Zibbi checks out from Lapham Elementary Library that we donated.  She's now on a quest to find them all.  Benja and Lotta and Zibbi, I think of sending them into the future.  I want them to have the tools of kindness and love and humor and creativity to solve impossible problems.  After a day like my birthday, I feel inspired for what they will bring. 

The REAL Mustache Day!

Yesterday (Friday, February 22) was mustache day at Marquette.  Unfortantely, one of Lotta's classmates, thought Mustache day was two days ago.  I was chatting with his dad at pick up and telling him how Benja is now growing a mustache, but we are NEVER under any circumstances to mention it.  Which of course, his younger sisters are wont to do.  So poor little Maceo came racing out of Marquette and I could tell that he had tried desperately to wipe off the mustache he'd applied earlier in the day, but of course, it was still pretty evident.  As we left the playground, I told Maceo to remember, EVERY day in middle school is mustache day.

So Friday morning Lotta was super excited and cut out a mustache and taped it to a pencil.  Then, we decided it would be fun to have an additional "surprise" mustache underneath the pencil one.  As we brought out the facepaint, I noticed the paint brush was all wonky.  I did not, seek, another paintbrush,

thinking that maybe it was just me and this must be the brush that came with the set. Right?!? Well, the first side of the mustache, even with the wonky brush, I must say, turned out pretty swell (that seems like an appropriate mustache day word...) As I started on the other side, unfortunately, that brush turned against me and the second side looked MUCH different than the first.  And I gasped, "OH!"  Probably, not the phrase you want to hear out of someone's mouth when they are painting your face.  Although, probably better than if they are cutting your hair.  Or performing surgery.  Luckily, Lotta is NOT a perfectionist, so she just looked at the askew mustache, shrugged her shoulders and said, "that's fine."  And raced downstairs to eat breakfast.  It made me thoroughly appreciate her calmness, as I KNEW if it had been another one of my children, I would STILL be working on THE perfect mustache.

Zibbi Logic

A few weeks ago, we were playing "questions" at the dinner table.  (I get an email each week with a list of new questions for us to discuss from Parents Together).  Zibbi became super frustrated and I thought, "This seems like the opposite of what these questions are actually promoting."  Then Zibbi explained that she was frustrated because so many of her answers are things that will not actually happen--like she WON'T become a mermaid when she grows up.  Or she won't be able to build a slide inside our house.  She even utilizes this technique when I ask questions like, "What do you want to do in 2019?" She will say, "go to a mermaid village" or "go to the moon"...and I have to suggest that she could actually come up with a more realistic list so that we might actually do the items she'd like to do. Then I'm struck by, should I really be squashing her creativity and imagination??

Last week we had a two day school week, I was struggling to

figure out when I could possibly volunteer in her classroom.  She paused and said earnestly, "Mom, I just think the other kids will miss you TOO much if you don't make it this week."  Having never experienced popularity before, I couldn't possibly say "no". Then when I finally made it to her class, one of her classmates sat at our circle table and shouted responses at me.  The teacher finally said to him, "Hey, buddy, she's right next to you, there's no need to YELL."  He responded, "I don't think she (meaning me) can actually hear very well".  He's not wrong, I hadn't really realized how loudly he was speaking to me.