Another not so pretty do-over story

One day, Ben & Ellie & I went to the library. It was a library that Ben in particular loves because it has not one, but (drum roll please) TWO train tracks. And a fish tank. And a ramp to run, I mean walk, around many many times.

We were at said library, when I suddenly realized that we were supposed to be home giving Ellie a feeding (meds in her gastric tube). Plus,  Ellie was starting to feel tired. The library was pretty crowded that day, so Ben hadn’t had much of a chance to play yet. You can imagine how desperately Ben wanted to stay at the library. When I suggested we go home, he adamantly, loudly refused.

Now usually, I can tell him to tell me when he is ready and a few minutes later he will suddenly say he is ready. On this particular day, however, this trick did not work. I felt as if it would be so great to have two of me right then (each with a car of course--maybe one a convertible even, it was a nice day). One of us could go home with Ellie; the other one could stay at the library with Ben. I hate that feeling of having to “choose” between my two loverly children. I know they hate it too.

I wondered, is there a way to do this that I am somehow not aware of?? How in the world am I supposed to do this for crying out loud? To add to the whole brew-haha was the fact that not only was Ellie getting tired, but Ben was already tired. Finally I told Ben firmly, in a very parental voice that we had to go.

Which meant Ben started running through the library screaming and crying as loudly as possible. Which led to Ellie beginning to scream and cry and walk in the opposite direction around the library. I told Ben that if he couldn’t be quiet in the library then we wouldn’t be able to check out what we had found. Which, of course, made him even more furious. He was so angry he tried to kick over one of the plants near the doorway.

As I mentioned, Ellie is wandering around the library crying, loudly. Finally, finally, I collected both my children and we headed towards the car. I say, “we” meaning Ellie & I, Ben decided he needed to explore and lay down on the library lawn.

Finally, finally, I manhandled (or womanhandled) Ben into his car seat, which is almost entirely impossible to buckle with a bucking toddler in it. We made it home with me livid in the front seat.

That night at dinner, Ellie was telling her Dad about the “not fun time at the library”. How 'crazy' totally came to visit. Suddenly Ben said, “Maybe next time, I no scream”. “Maybe next time, I no kick over the plants.” “Maybe next time I no hit the other kids.” (I didn’t mention the hitting did I? Couldn’t bear to relive that too…) Rather than re-hashing what had happened, he wanted to talk about what could happen the next time we went to the library. I said, “Well, I am grateful that the library has never kicked us out, even as many times as we have caused a major scene there.” We decided then and there that we would do a “do-over” the very next day.

The next day, I summoned all my courage and we set off once again to the library. Thom suggested that we just give a shout out when we entered the library “We’re gonna keep on comin’ back ‘till we get it right!” On the car ride we discussed how we wanted our library visit to be this time—fun, peaceful, quiet, easy. And guess what, miracle of all miracles, it was! For a while after that, every time we would go to a library we would discuss beforehand what we wanted to have happen when we were there.