Slacker Ant

[caption id="attachment_4816" align="alignright" width="224" caption="Mike digs in to assist with Ellie garden at Prawnee."][/caption]

Over the past few years, I have tremendously slacked off as an aunt (as we say here in the midwest, "ant").  I have lost touch with that aunt side of myself.  Missing birthdays, holidays.  And most recently, missing the first graduation of all my nieces and nephews, from the one who started it all, Josh.  When we discovered that Mike (Thom's older brother) and Amy were coming to the Lake of the Ozarks, we decided, as middle children, it was our job to crash their vacation.  I mean driving 8 hours to see them feels much more do-able with an almost 2-year-old than driving 16 to see them in their home state, Virginia.

Since I was feeling so crumby about my recent aunting, I figured my nephews, Josh (18) and Sam (almost 15) and my niece Kate (11) would be feeling the same, thinking to themselves, "Boy oh boy she is the WORST aunt ever."  You can imagine my state of mind with these thoughts whirling around in my head, pretty crazy.  I was ready to get back into the car and drive home.  Plus, being in a family setting always makes me ache for Ellie, knowing how much she adored family gatherings.  She would jubilate in such a setting (whoo-hoo used my word of the day!!).

Much to my surprise and delight, Josh made a point of striking up conversations with me.  Because he was seeing me as the aunt who brought art projects for all the nephews during our family vacation on the outer banks, way back when Ellie was 9-months-old.  I think he recalled this because he has decided to go into graphic design, he has become an artist himself.  As we talked I felt

like I was transforming into the aunt he recalled me being.  Conversations with Josh reconnected me with my love of being an aunt (How could you NOT love being an aunt with the superior group of nieces and nephews I have??).  It reminded me, once again, that I did have relationships before I had Ellie.  I easily forget this in my times of missing Ellie.

Then there was Kate, who became my shadow at times, assisting me with Ben and Lotta, bringing me food, just basically being my right hand woman.  The two of us schemed to swim from Grandma and Grandpa's dock to the buoys, an approximate 1/2 mile round trip swim.  We of course, wore life jackets (I wasn't in THAT crazy of a state at that point).  Josh and Sam had attempted the feat, but were not allowed to without adult supervision.  I was the adult on this mission!  Wow.  At the last minute, Josh and Sam decided to join us.  We called it our "iron man".  When we were about half way to the boo-es a HUMONGOUS fish leaped out of the water.  I may be exaggerating, telling a fish tale, (Thom claims I often exaggerate) but to me this fish looked about the size of Lotta.  Yikes!  That's 2T to the layperson.  Totally freaked me

[caption id="attachment_4817" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Katy and Ellie (then Betsi) play on the beach in Michigan."][/caption]

out.  Sweet Kate kept saying to me, "Think about cookies.  Think about cookies."  To get my mind off the GINORMOUS fish that was swimming in that lake.  Half way home, I made sure to have everyone count off.  And because I was the official adult of the outing, at one point, when there was an argument, I shouted, "I'm the adult so I'm RIGHT." Just to let em all know who was boss.

As we neared the dock on our return trip, Sam and I had a lovely conversation and I felt like we were able to bound in a way we hadn't been previously during huge family gatherings.

On our road trip home, we were driving through a part of Missouri with very little in the way of food stops.  I was starting to panic a bit because I was getting to the hungry point where I was hating everything.  Not a good sign.  Suddenly out of nowhere, as if created specifically for us, in the middle of corn fields (seriously I'm not exaggerating here) was a motel/restaurant/gas station/bait shop.  Of course we stopped, you don't pass something divine like that up.  As we sat and ate (Ben timed how long the food took--9minutes 37 seconds), I looked across the dining room and saw 2

[caption id="attachment_4815" align="alignleft" width="224" caption="Kate explores the waterfall last year in Prawnee, close to where we buried Ellie's cremains."][/caption]

teen-aged boys with their grandparents.  No one at the table was talking, the boys looked down the entire time.  Looked so so highly uncomfortable for everyone.  Made me appreciate the famazing (fantastically amazing) boys my nephews are, gregarious, joking, initiating conversations.

This trip was so worth it to me in numerous ways.  Mike and Amy told us that for Ellie's burial, they allowed Josh, Sam and Kate to decide whether or not to go.  The vote was unanimous to come.  Extraordinary.  Seriously, how many 10, 13, and 17 year olds do you know who would make that choice?

Thanks to Nancy and Gene for their tremendous hosting.  Thanks to Josh, Sam and Kate for reminding me how much I adore being an aunt.  Till next time...