Hula Hooping

My Aunt (pronounced "ant") Suzanne  told me that every morning, after pouring herself a cup of coffee, she checks Sunny Days to see if there is a blog entry.  So, this one's for you Suzanne!

We are members of our local Y (f0rmerly known as the YMCA).  Every Friday there is Family Fun Night, with Family Zumba (which I attend with or withOUT my family), PLUS the bouncy houses are blown up in the gym AND the pool is open for families.  We had so much fun last Friday night, I was thanking my lucky stars for this tremendous resource.

Recently, a Family Hula Hoop class was added immediately following Family Zumba.  I do not know that I have ever hula hooped successfully before.  It looked like so much fun, I had to give

 

Another way to walk I have not mastered--with a 6-year-old on your shoulders.

it a whirl (pun intended).  When I first put the hoop on and started to spin, it felt completely, thoroughly AWKWARD.  I glanced around the room and there were small children spinning numerous hoops.  For some reason once I got the hoop going, it would end up spinning around my chest or my legs, and quickly fall.  I persevered.  I would not be deterred.  Suddenly, as I was hula hooping, it all clicked in.  I could feel everything suddenly synchronistically working.  It was AWESOME!  However when the instructor suggested I try walking and hula hooping, I declined, I mean why mess with a good thing?  (Reminded me of when Thom and I were being pulled on inner tubes behind his parents' speed boat at Lake of the Ozarks.  My main goal was to stay atop the inner tube.  Every time I peeked over at Thom, however, he was in a different position--one handed, backwards, facing out, facing in, even standing.  We obviously had a different vision of how to have fun inner tubing.)

I keep thinking about that hula hoopin experience now.  As I go through my days, feeling awkward, socially inept, struggling to make sense of it all without Ellie, everything feels like a Picasso painting, I know what things are supposed to be, but it all looks so distorted.  I imagine one of these days it's all going to click back into focus.  I will suddenly find that this fogginess has ascended and everything is begining to make sense again.  My sister (yes the SUPER one) told me witnessing my grief is sort of like watching a toddler learn to walk.  There are a lot of false starts, a lot of stumbling, and falling before it really kicks in.

[caption id="attachment_4151" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Lotta and I learn to walk together. "][/caption]

Speaking of people who fall down a lot, I have often pondered recently the newest member of our clan, Lotta.  When I did my vision board for my Tiara Coaching Group, I put a mom snuggling with her baby.  Then I suddenly realized that I HAD TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY (the thought was just like that, in all caps).  And there was this humongous struggle within me--I HAVE TO HAVE A BABY/HOW CAN I POSSIBLY HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW??  It felt crazy to want both of these opposing ideas at the same time, how urgently I wanted a baby and how logically it sounded completely, utterly insane.  Now it feels as if the whole universe was conspiring FOR me--making sure that I would have this sweet baby girl and my exuberant boy after Ellie moved on.  Because these 2 children here with me are the best inspiration right now to some how pull myself up and continue stumbling about.  I have often spoken of Ellie's angels, now I am becoming suspicious that my OWN angels have been working over time on my behalf (both the invisible kind and the kind disguised as my family and friends).