[/caption]There are times, as of late, when I have been feeling somewhat disappointed, frustrated, angry, despairing at Ellie's rate of recovery. I have wished wholeheartedly for her to feel better, to not be drooling, not be slurring her words and to have the full use full-time of her face (right now most of the time only the left half of Ellie's face is functioning). Oh yeah and for her not to have hurty joints or feet or of course the ever popular after brain surgery, headache. A lot to ask for, I know. It feels at times as though I am slowly watching Ellie lose more and more of her functions. At these times, it feels as if she is slipping away, albeit at a sloooow rate. When I start to go down this rather slippery slope of despair, I realize that this is merely my perception and in no way Ellie's. She continues to live in her jifillage (joy + filled + village) regardless. The world she inhabits does not include tumors. It just doesn't. I want to live there too.
[caption id="attachment_1252" align="alignleft" width="191" caption="Ellie in her jifillage."]
[/caption]Last week we received yet another package from Grandma in the mail. The most coveted item in the package was a sheet of bubble wrap. The kind with large bubbles, not the small bubbled kind. First Ben was playing with said bubble wrap, popping them by standing on them, jumping on them, using as many body parts as possible to make popping noises. Ellie was also much interested in the bubble wrap. When Ben went upstairs for a bath, I sneakily gave the bubble wrap to Ellie so she could have a turn. After Ben's bath, he was appalled that the bubble wrap he had been playing with was now in Ellie's hands. He raced over and snatched them out of her hands. We then began discussing how we can't really grab things from other people, it's just not a nice thing to do. We brainstormed how we could solve this bubble wrap dilemna--look for more in the basement, cut the piece in half, etc. Ben handed the bubble wrap back to his sister. Ellie's face lit up and she proclaimed her brother "as sweet as candy" for giving her a sheet of bubble wrap. In the few minutes that Ben had the bubble wrap, Ellie had completely forgotten the upset of him snatching it from her hands. All she saw was how wonderful it was in that moment for Ben to be giving her such a precious gift. How magnificent to live in a world so filled with joy that you do not even remember that someone did something you did not appreciate. And how fortunate are we to have a daughter who continually reminds us of such important lessons?
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