School days

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After Ellie's surgery in April, Crazy came to visit for an extended stay.  Our world was shrinking as Ellie lost interest in the few things she pursued prior to surgery. She would become much more upset about things for longer periods of time than she had previously.  At times it seemed as if she were just wandering aimlessly about the house or obsessively peeling crayons.  But, you know what "they" say (whoever these mysterious "theys" are who make up all the rules), when you are at the bottom, there is only one place to go--up.   That meant something had to change.  And soon.

The physical therapist we worked with this summer had worked for years in the Madison Public School System and she encouraged us to explore this option.  For years, I had imagined Ellie sitting in a crowded classroom, dying a little inside each day (I do have the flair for the dramatic, don't I?)  I imagined the other children taunting her relentlessly for her differences.  I could not imagine Ellie having enough energy to withstand all of the stimulus of a classroom. 

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We began to discuss the possibility of going to school with Ellie, to which she responded adamantly that she would never ever go to school.  But the more we discussed all of the wonderful things that could happen there, the less resistant Ellie became.  We also were fortunate to find a fabulous special education teacher, Abigail, who kidsat Ellie this summer.  So when Ellie would become reluctant, I would discuss how fun it would be to hang out at school with a bunch of "Abigails".   

The week before school started, every day we would walk to school and "practice" going into Ellie's classroom and talking with her teacher, Ms. Mack.  By the end of the week, Ellie seemed ready for the real deal. 

It had been decided that Ellie would begin school with a 30 minute day, working her way up to 3 hours.  Because we had such little time the first day, Ben & I went out to the playground while Ellie was in school.  I wanted to be nearby just in case I was needed.  After our half hour, Ben & I went inside to wait for Ellie.  When I walked into the building, I could hear her screaming and I felt a sinking in my stomach.  She was wailing at the top of her lungs.  Oh boy, I thought, this is not going well. 

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I think what amazed me the most is how the staff then rallied together to come up with a new game plan for the very next day.  They all realized that expecting Ellie to sit in a classroom was too much for her right then.  They set up a social skills group to help her learn to take turns and feel more comfortable interacting with her peers.  Now when she has "lunch bunch" as it is now called, she wants to sit next to the other students, instead of wanting to sit next to the teachers, as she probably did at first.

Here are the main utterly amazing teachers Ellie interacts with at school: 

Ms. Zahrt is the special education student teacher.  When I see Ms Zahrt interacting with Ellie her face is filled with love.  Both Ms. Zahrt and Ms. Zwart (confusing huh?) the special education teachers are so patient and kind when the speak with Ellie.  I love the reports that Ms. Zahrt sends home because she always includes all the things that she is proud of that Ellie is doing along with smiley faces, minimizing the challenges that were faced.  Not only does she "get" Ellie, but she finds her entertaining and amusing.  Ellie has already begun to talk about how much she will miss Ms. Zahrt when she leaves to do student teaching elsewhere next semester.  When Ms. Zahrt saw Ellie for the last time Thursday she was so sad that she cried thinking of how she would miss the students she had connected with this semester.  I was shocked at how much she was dedicated to Ellie.  I hate to see someone cry alone and if I'd had just a few more minutes, I am quite sure that I could have produced a few tears myself. 

Ms. Zwart, the special education teacher,  e-mailed me daily at first to let me know how Ellie was doing and to ask pertinent questions.  She is a teacher through and through.  Often when Ms. Zahrt speaks to Ellie, I can hear Ms. Zwart in her.  She gave me a ride home after a planning meeting and viewed The Bookshop for herself (an often talked about place during Lunch Bunch).  She has gone above and beyond her job description in finding ways to creatively handle situations with Ellie.  She was described to me by another teacher as, "Everything you would want in a special education teacher." 

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When Ellie and I were practicing going to school, one of Ms. Mack's previous students arrived at the door.  I could tell from observing that Ms. Mack thoroughly enjoys spending time and interacting with children.  She is genuinely interested in what they have to say.  When I attended school meetings at the begining of the year, Ms. Mack was in attendance and she made me feel as if a good girlfriend was sitting next to me, laughing at my not always funny jokes.  Watching my back.  She chimed in at one point during a meeting where Ellie was being described to say how charming and delightful Ellie is and how far she had come in a short amount of time. 

Ms. Kapp is the student teacher in the main classroom.  One of the first times we met, we discussed how we had both walked the Make-A-Wish walk in Milwaukee.  She walked in honor of her brother who had passed away when she was in 3rd grade.  It was wonderful having her at meetings, because I always felt as if I had someone there who understood just a little bit more than everybody else.  Then there are several teacher's aides who help along the way--Ms. Roundtree and Wendy.  When we first started going to school, the principal, made sure that Ellie knew her because she wanted Ellie to feel as if she were surrounded by friends who could assist her if she should need assistance.  I am quite certain that Ellie would not be doing as well or loving school as much as she does if it were not for these very talented, patient, kind, women.

Ellie's fellow students have been amazing in helping Ellie to feel more comfortable and welcome.  During the fall when we walked to school daily, her classmate, Izzy would always run up to greet us if she were on the playground.  One day as we were dropping Ellie off, her classmates were going out to recess.  One of the students halted in excitement at seeing Ellie in the vestibule.  All of her classmates starting doing Ellie's special "double wave" (using both hands to wave because one hand just isn't enough).  When her class was discussing "Eurasia", one of her classmates pointed out that that sounded like an "Ellie word".  I was so afraid that Ellie would be teased by her classmates, but instead they have adopted her as their class mascot, showing her love and companionship. 

School has been so much better than we ever could have imagined.  Our lives have been turned upside down, from a time when we could not imagine Ellie having the energy to go to school to now Ellie being shocked if she is not at school on a weekday.  She is now up to three hours a day without a problem and there have been discussions of moving towards a full day.  AMAZING!!