[caption id="attachment_4531" align="alignright" width="225" caption="Passionate about P."]
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Oh how I love a good theme. It just brings everything together so nicely. During winter break, to relieve the boredom we were feeling, Ben decided to create a "P" party--a party celebrating things starting with the letter "P". I wore a pink and purple polka dotted skirt and piggy tails. I wore a tiara (I do so at every opportunity) so I was a princess. If you give me a theme, I get a little out of control, can you tell? Of course the party had to be potluck, we ate pizza, pineapple side dish, pasta, peas (sugar snap), peanut butter cups and drank purple punch.
Last weekend, we had an everybody where Elmo theme night. Then the next day we all wore sweatshirts. Because Ben and I are more enthusiastically
for theme days and nights than Thom is against them, we always win out. Plus it solves the problem of what to wear.
When we discovered it was Ben's turn for Show-n-Tell again this week, I had a moment of panic. Then we began to brainstorm.
[caption id="attachment_4532" align="alignleft" width="225" caption="Lotta often has an Elmo theme going on. She says his name like this Elbow. So when I ask where her elbow is, she looks at her shirt."]
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He thought perhaps he could bring "Bubby" his stuffed Hippo I bought him when he was a baby. He is not now nor has he ever been terribly attached to Bubby. He has never slept with Bubby or taken Bubby on any adventures. Hmm. Not sure how interesting that would be. Suddenly it hit me that he could talk about his older sister (see the them here? His last Show-n-Tell was about Lotta. He could have a
sisters theme.) He LOVED the idea.
When I asked Ben what he would want to tell the class about Ellie, he immediately responded he would tell them how Ellie always said
he was her best friend. Immediately following Ellie's death, Ben talked a lot about how Ellie didn't like him in his room or how she often yelled when he was loud or how she did not want him to touch her books. I absolutely knew at the time that Ben's memories would be formed by what we focused on. We began discussing how every single time Ellie was asked at school who her best friend was, she responded that Ben was and how convenient it was to have her best friend right at home.
[caption id="attachment_4528" align="alignright" width="300" caption="How I was worried Ben would remember Ellie."]
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Thus, when Ben responded so earnestly with this as his first response, I knew we had succeeded in letting him know how much Ellie loves him, even when, at the end of her life, she might have had a hard time with his exuberant entrances into her room. Mission accomplished.
I don't think you will be at all surprised that the more we talked about Show-n-Tell, the bigger it got. I suggested we bring in the photo collage Uncle Kippy put together for the After Party. Ben looked at it and noticed how there were NO pictures of him with Ellie in any of the photos. We went to work, searching for photos of the 2 of them, which we set up as a short (12 photos) slide show. We brought in favorite items of Ellie's--a book, a crayon shape made by Hospice Care utilizing crayons Ellie had peeled, and a giraffe from the girection (giraffe collection) Ellie had given to Ben when Ben asked if he could have it (the entire collection, not just one giraffe). Then we watched Ellie's video of her trip to Sesame
[caption id="attachment_4530" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Instead how Ben is recalling Ellie, Best friends playing on the beach."]
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Street. Unfortunately, because Ben was so young, he does not recall any of that trip, so he just started making up answers to the questions his classmates asked. I was forced at that point to jump in with more accurate information. We ended up using the WHOLE 30 minute Show-n-Tell time, which was actually set aside for 3 students (oops). We left with the class two of Ellie's all-time-favorite foods for later, "Can you guess what they are?" * (Ben kept pretending he was the teacher by asking the class questions like that, "Can anyone guess what this is?" or "Oh that is a good question"). He seemed to thrive on being in front of his class more than I had ever seen him before. He got a little squirrel-y near the end of his talk, and I wondered if he was partly trying to tell his class and his teachers through his silliness that even though his sister died, he is still OK, he can still laugh and be silly even
[caption id="attachment_4527" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Playing on the bed together. Ellie has her hand on Ben."]
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when talking about her.
*The answer is: liney chips and peanut butter chocolate chip cookies--the peanut butter is Ben's favorite, the chocolate chip cookies Ellie's, so it seemed like the perfect combination for a presentation about Ben's experiences with Ellie.
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thoughts can be to our own happiness. On Thursday a student, who loves fancy like Ellie, came up to the flamingo room from the library. She had just checked out a book and brought it along with her. It was Purplelicious. I was so happy to see that book and thought about how many times Ellie and I had read it together. I asked Lila if she wanted me to read it to her and she said, 'Yes." I opened the book and there was Ellie's picture. It was like, and I don't mean this in a bad way, that Lila wasn't really there but Ellie was. When we were at Ellie's celebration in January you let us all pick out a hat that had been Ellie's. I picked a tall multicolored Dr. Seuss looking hat. Well, it sits up on top of my giant flamingo in my room.
