The Veil of Perfection

 

The vaccine I received was a one dose, which, some hypothesize has a bit more bang to it than the two dose version (where the "bang" is distributed over two vaccines).  I was all set to muscle my way through any symptoms I might have.  All night after my shot, I felt like my heart was racing.  Simultaneously, I felt exhausted and hot/then chilled. And oh so achey all over.  In the morning, I decided since I was awake, I might as well work out.  I thought it might help with any soreness.  I lived to regret that decision.  As soon as I was finished, and I'd set up breakfast food, I went back to bed.  I was in bed most of the morning.  Thom and Benja had their vaccines (conveniently) scheduled for that day, so off they went around lunch time.  I was sleeping and Lotta, determination in her voice, agreed to make lunch.  As I slept, I suddenly heard a quiet voice say, "Mom".  And I jerked awake, as you do, when your mom radar is on (which I think stays switched on permanently once you have children.)  Zibbi requested that I emerge from the bedroom to cut up strawberries (which we didn't actually have) because she didn't think it safe for Lotta to weld a knife.  I came downstairs and cut slices of bread for Zibbi, as Lotta, furiously looked on.  Lotta became so frustrated at one point, that she started sobbing and I gave her a huge hug, telling her that I knew how much she was wanting to help.  And I truly appreciated her attempt.  On the other hand, I know that for right now, Zibbi thinks I am perfection, I am the one and only one who can perform certain tasks to her satisfaction (like toasting a bagel).  I know that oh too soon, this veil of illusion will fall and she will discover that I too have struggles and weaknesses and faults.  But that morning, I wasn't prepared to let her in on the secret.  Not just yet.