Jumpy Squirrel

 

So many things to miss about pre-Covid times.  Wandering around Target, going to a movie theater, hugging a friend, going to a coffee shop. The security of knowing what tomorrow will bring.  Because we are six months (?) maybe 7 months into the pandemic hitting our shores, everyone is now talking about what they will do first when Covid is over.  I cannot even wrap my brain around that right now.  However, one of the things I miss the most is the friendliness that typically infuses our lives, now replaced with fear.  Because now whenever we leave the house, I become a squirrel, guarded, jumpy and quick.  The thing about doing pre-Covid 19 things now is that (at first at least) in my mind I would think it was  going to be the same thing as before, now it's totally different.  Success is now measured by how few customers are in the store, because that is safer.   Throughout the store, I remain alert, making sure my mask is in place, that I am maintaining 6 feet distance from those around me.  Oftentimes, half way through a grocery visit, I am exhausted, I have a sudden urge to just leave my cart and go home empty handed.  Or maybe take a short nap and then resume. And that's coming from ME an overbuyer, someone who typically enjoys the thrill of finding a deal.  When I return home, I am flooded with all my needs that are unmet--I need to use the bathroom (you don't want to use public toilets after hearing about "toilet plumes of Corona Virus"), I am thirsty and usually hungry and did I mention exhausted? I have the very real urge to throw myself on a fainting couch (we'd have to purchase one first, unfortunately.)  Then to top it off, it seems often times I find everyone here has waited for me to return to announce that they are HUNGRY like 5 minutes ago.  Can I make lunch?  As I struggle to bring in bags loaded with groceries and fulfill everyone's needs, I also must prioritize washing my hands before I touch anyone.  I know none of this is that big of a deal.  Really it is just the addition of EVERYTHING (pandemic, racial injustice, politics) else that makes these seemingly little things seem insurmountable right now.