Last weekend was fantastically beautiful outside (this weekend it's winter-like again, it even snowed). Blue skies, slight breeze, near 80. Felt exciting to be alive. Ben was thoroughly enjoying being outside. At a local park, we ran into one of Ellie's classmates. This little guy was so upset about Ellie's passing that he had to leave school. Well, Ben just happened to start swinging next to him and asked me to push him. One of the first things Ellie's classmate said was that he didn't think it was fair that Lotta would not get to know Ellie. I agreed that it was sad, Lotta would not recall seeing Ellie physically. AND I told him that we talk about Ellie ALL the time, she will definitely grow up knowing of Ellie. This litte guy's sister was there (ironically she too is named Elizabeth Rose and goes by Ellie) and asked how old Ellie would have been. I explained that Ellie was 13 days from turning 11. Ellie's classmate again spoke up, saying he did not think THAT was fair either, that Ellie was so close to her birthday. I once again agreed. AND I told him how Ellie never cared about birthdays. How I often felt like I was pushing the whole celebration on her. He was SHOCKED. As if I'd told him there were 2 moons. It was one of those magical moments where it felt as if I was in exactly the right place at the right time. Not only that, but it felt as if the conversation itself was the perfect mix of allowing him to express his concerns and feel them AND giving him another perspective at the same time. It felt as if I accomplished what most needed to be accomplished that day. Aah perfection.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Perfection
Last weekend was fantastically beautiful outside (this weekend it's winter-like again, it even snowed). Blue skies, slight breeze, near 80. Felt exciting to be alive. Ben was thoroughly enjoying being outside. At a local park, we ran into one of Ellie's classmates. This little guy was so upset about Ellie's passing that he had to leave school. Well, Ben just happened to start swinging next to him and asked me to push him. One of the first things Ellie's classmate said was that he didn't think it was fair that Lotta would not get to know Ellie. I agreed that it was sad, Lotta would not recall seeing Ellie physically. AND I told him that we talk about Ellie ALL the time, she will definitely grow up knowing of Ellie. This litte guy's sister was there (ironically she too is named Elizabeth Rose and goes by Ellie) and asked how old Ellie would have been. I explained that Ellie was 13 days from turning 11. Ellie's classmate again spoke up, saying he did not think THAT was fair either, that Ellie was so close to her birthday. I once again agreed. AND I told him how Ellie never cared about birthdays. How I often felt like I was pushing the whole celebration on her. He was SHOCKED. As if I'd told him there were 2 moons. It was one of those magical moments where it felt as if I was in exactly the right place at the right time. Not only that, but it felt as if the conversation itself was the perfect mix of allowing him to express his concerns and feel them AND giving him another perspective at the same time. It felt as if I accomplished what most needed to be accomplished that day. Aah perfection.
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Lovely! I love that perspective - that we can "be with" a range of emotions and perspectives at once. That a different perspective doesn't have invalidate the first.
ReplyDeleteThanks for speaking so thoughtfully with that boy.