[/caption]I think before I had children I had this delusion of my children being these little vessels to which I would pour all of my wisdom and knowledge. I laugh at this former version of myself, so naive, so confident. Now I see how so much of the wisdom flows from these two amazing beings.
Here are a few insights Ellie has had for me (I know some of you have already heard some of these, so you have my permission to skim...) One day Ellie was singing a song about how much she loved herself and she suddenly stopped and said, "Wouldn't it be funny if I were singing a song about how much I hated myself?" It struck me, thinking about how many of us ARE walking around singing a song about how much we hate ourselves, how this inward song could pepper every aspect of our day. When I shared this with Ellie, that sometimes when people do not love themselves they do things that are not so nice to other people and she was downright shocked that this could be so.
Another day Ellie pondered how funny it would be to talk about all the things that bugged us. Again I was struck, how often we see someone and begin to discuss all the things that are buggin us. And then we wonder why we are feeling annoyed.
[caption id="attachment_2300" align="alignright" width="200" caption="Ellie smiley in class last year."]
[/caption]Ellie has been into the concept of "jofillage" (joy+filled+village). This is when Ellie is so happy that she feels as if she is living in a village, where everything seems filled with joy. That is where she lives most of the time (rather than in sick village or brain tumor village). I was pondering how my brother-in-law was worried about how sad it would be to work at St. Jude's hospital. He discovered that it is actually a jofillage. The children who are there are little heroes inspiring everyone who works there to be their absolute best from the person who cleans the floors to the nurses to the lab techs and doctors.
I heard this Josh Groban song called, "You're still You" there is a line that says something about even after all you've been through, "you're still you." That is what I feel about Ellie that she is still the sweet, angelic little girl even after all the surgeries, pokes, chemo, not feeling well. Even with this last bought of not feeling well she rarely complained, it barely registered on her radar as a "problem" that she could not stay awake or stop drooling or remember or concentrate. She just kept right on being herself as much as she could.
My all time favorite Ellie words: Fabulappy (Fabulous + Happy)
Joyburstish (so filled with joy that it is bursting out of your body)
[caption id="attachment_2306" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Oh that Ben!"]
[/caption]When Ellie was in the hospital, Ben was trying super hard to "cheer her up" by telling her jokes, doing little dances, whatever he thought it would take. At one point, while Ellie was sleeping in the ER, Ben suddenly turned on the light switch and announced, "Shite and Rine!" (rather than the more popular version, "rise and shine").
At one point, Ben told me that he had the "solution". He thought that the reason Ellie was in the hospital was because she only wanted to eat cookies (and barely that). He got this idea because he and I often discuss how well he will feel if he only eats sweet, sugary foods. During a moment of exasperation, I had announced that I just did not feel like a good mom if I was not at least offering my children a variety of foods. Now quite often
[caption id="attachment_2308" align="alignright" width="300" caption="The bath fish."]
[/caption]when Ben is eating something he thinks I would want him to eat such as fruits or vegetables, he will shout, "Do you feel like a good mom to me?" He tries so hard to spread his joy in so many different ways throughout the day.
Finally, Ben has been noticing the things he "is" lately. For example, if we are in pottery class, he will suddenly declare, "I am an artist!" When he is cooking, he is suddenly a chef. When he is cleaning, he is a cleaner. I just love how he is collecting all of these ideas together it seems so expanding, allowing him to explore all that he is, all the many avenues that are possible. I love how it does not even occur to him that he could not add another aspect of his being. It has made me re-think my days, "Hey I am a driver! Hey I am a laundress! Hey I am a chef! Hey I am a reader!" How wonderful to have these little wisdom givers right in my very own home and for free (pretty much).
Yay for your wee wise ones! I feel the same way with mine. She brings me right to where I need to be. I often say to Mark, "She's so much smarter than we are." Which means, of course, she is REALLY smart (WINK!)!
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