13 Days, 12 Years Later

 

This year, I wasn't sure I had it in me to to do the 13 Days, sometimes I just want to kind of hide, become a bit invisible.  Lotta & Zibbi were NOT having it.  Lotta had even written about the 13 Days in a class presentation of family traditions.  I shared the document with Zibbi's teacher and the teacher I have been working with in 3K.  They BOTH wanted to share the celebration with their classes.  And I was shocked.  I guess within our extended families, it sort of feels like everyone is complete with the 13 Days.  I find, just like Ellie's death, that some of the most unexpected people turn up to help.  Maybe the people I anticipated being able to help are unable to do so for whatever reason.  Then, someone, unexpectedly arrives and seems actually excited about learning more about Ellie's life and how we continue to celebrate her each year.  And, if nothing else, for a break from freaking January (January in the upper midwest is BRUTAL and LONG.)  So, today, on the 23rd anniversary of Ellie's birth, (maybe we should call it her "birthaversary" combining birthday and anniversary?) the designated day was "fancy clothing/fancy hat" day.  As we arrived at school, one of Zibbi's classmates, ran by me with a hat she had decorated and painted in honor of fancy hat day.  I was SUPER impressed.  (I told their mom, bonus points for the extra work!)

To celebrate Ellie's day, Thom & I went to Lazy Jane's.  A restaurant so infused with memory upon memory.  AND where every other scone is compared against the BEST scones in the world (so far).  As we placed our order, they asked what name, and Thom said, "Ellie".  So glappy he is on board.  Then, I noticed the heart picture by the register, and thought, the hunt continues...

Yesterday in the schedule was the "Happy Heart Hunt", in honor of ONE Of Ellie's favorite shapes being hearts (the other was triangles because of the Sesame Street character, Telly loving triangles).  I hadn't spotted many hearts, honestly.  I even wore heart leggings to up my number.  I was super touched that the music teacher made a point of showing me her heart earrings.  And Zibbi's teacher had heart coloring pages to hand out.  Lotta and I went to the grocery store, and as we were checking out, I saw that the cashier had on a heart necklace.  Then, the cashier told me she also had heart earrings going up her ear.  She explained that when her father had passed, her sister had made something into heart necklaces in his honor.  And when I told her about Ellie and hearts, she shared that she had had Leukemia and had survived it through a stem cell transplant from her brother.  And I just thought, WOW, what a wonderful world.  To be able to share ALL that in the line at Willy Street Co-op.  I definitely live in the right place.

On hug day, Zibbi came downstairs and said, "It's hug day", while she opened her arms out wide for a hug.  I was impressed that she was taking the lead.  

On another day, as I was getting into my car to go to work, a very insistent dog kept wanting to interact with me.  As the person she was with pulled her away from me, she said, "Come on, Nellie" and I thought, of COURSE her name is Nellie (Ellie with an N).  

I think the thing is when the 13 Days rolls around, I am more on the lookout for the magic.  And for the people who suddenly show up and the people who just keep showing up.  It is ALWAYS a surprise.  It has been and continues to be an absolutely incredible journey.  Because of Ellie, my relationships with others are richer, deeper more meaningful.  So many times when I get a hug, it is for REAL.  No more half-hearted hugs.  The new people that show up, I feel both wistfulness that they don't get to meet her, and happiness that her story continues.