Six years ago this morning, my 10-year-old died. I remember that night so clearly, I was lying in a bed perpendicular to Ellie's bed. All night long, I could hear her struggling to breathe. And occasionally stopping. At one point, I looked out the window and I just wondered if I could possibly stand to BE in the moment right then. To be present to what was happening. I thought that instead I really wanted to jump out the window. But somehow I didn't. So today, in honor of how much Ellie has enriched my life again and again, I wear a shirt that says, "NOW". As I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized, that backwards, that's WON. Surely during the long long arduous road of grief, "lose" is more the word often uttered. I thought Ellie would really appreciate the word joke of NOW-WON and it made me smile. Thank YOU all for being on my team and helping me "win".
