I won!

I wanted to share the posts on Facebook that happened over the 13 days of Ellie this year (the days between January 13th when she died to January 26th her birthday.)  It all started with this post on January 13th...

Six years ago this morning, my 10-year-old died. I remember that night so clearly, I was lying in a bed perpendicular to Ellie's bed. All night long, I could hear her struggling to breathe. And occasionally stopping. At one point, I looked out the window and I just wondered if I could possibly stand to BE in the moment right then. To be present to what was happening. I thought that instead I really wanted to jump out the window. But somehow I didn't. So today, in honor of how much Ellie has enriched my life again and again, I wear a shirt that says, "NOW". As I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized, that backwards, that's WON. Surely during the long long arduous road of grief, "lose" is more the word often uttered. I thought Ellie would really appreciate the word joke of NOW-WON and it made me smile. Thank YOU all for being on my team and helping me "win".