Lighting Up the Room

[caption id="attachment_4369" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Lotta and I on my "not" birthday in New York. "][/caption]

I used to feel embarrassed, ashamed when I felt super excited to see someone I knew and liked.  I consistently felt like I liked the other person MORE than they liked me.  I call it "little sister syndrome", when you feel like you are chasing after others.  "Please take me with you!! I wanna come!!"  Somehow made me feel inferior.

Last January, when my mom was staying with us and keeping our household running while Ellie was making her transition,

[caption id="attachment_4371" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Me as an acutal little sister and not just playing out the syndrome."][/caption]

Brittany would often come to visit.  After one visit she commented how my mom was one of the only people who held onto a hug as long as she did.  Brittany explained that she liked to be the last one to let go of a hug.  Wow.  I longed to have that kind of self-confidence.

Then I was reading about Oprah and how she lights up a room by making the other people in the room light up.  I absolutely knew that this was how I wanted to be.  Look at Lotta, she is at that age where she will show her enthusasism

[caption id="attachment_4370" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Yet another fantastic photo by our fabulous family photographer (besides BEN! I mean), Kip."][/caption]

for everyone around her without holding back.  She will point and squeal when she sees someone she likes.  Makes you feel like a child on Christmas morning.

Now I feel as if I am beginning to put on that skin, feeling more comfortable, and even better if I AM the more excited one.  Why not make someone else feel extra special?  Let them know how super excited I am to be in their presence?  So what if they don't reciprocate.

[caption id="attachment_4372" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Gorgeous!!"][/caption]

You know how sometimes when you are at a party or you just happen to run into someone you don't know that well.  You inquire how the other is doing.  Conversation comes to an abrupt, screeching halt.  Awkwardness ensues.  I have decided in these moments, to become a reporter.  I was inspired by this book I read, So Enough About Me: A Jersey Girl's Unlikely Adventures Among the Absurdly Famous by Jancee Dunn.  I have decided the next time there is an awkward pause, to start asking questions, working to build the connection and find out as much as I can.  Again, it feels like another way to shine the light on another person.

I know, a lot of you will probably sprint across the street when you see me coming now, afraid of my overly enthusiastic arrival, racing to embrace you in a too long hug while I hurl questions at you.  (Think Will Ferrel in the movie Elf .)  Be afraid.  Very afraid.