[/caption]As many of you know, I took Ben to the dentist a couple of months ago when he began complaining of a tooth ache. The dentist discovered 8 cavaties and we decided to have Ben undergo outpatient surgery to have all 8 corrected at once. The earliest we could be scheduled for surgery was September 3rd.
On Monday and Tuesday last week, Ben began to complain that his cheek was hurting. Well, I readily admit that I would make a terrifically terrible nurse. I just don't have the patience for it. At all. I especially don't have the patience for it in the middle of the night alternating between Ben waking up screaming/crying in pain to Lotta waking up. Well, by Tuesday afternoon, I noticed that Ben's right cheek had become swollen. I googled what this could possibly mean and immediately abscessed teeth came up. Apparently, if a tooth abscesses it can spread to the jaw and then to surrounding soft tissue. We started Ben (0nce again) on antibiotics with the warning that if the swelling spread to his eye (yes his EYE) we would need to bring him in to the dentist immediately.
[caption id="attachment_2826" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Ben makes funny faces with Lotta."]
[/caption]Ben was having his surgery at a different hospital than where Ellie has had her surgeries. They called on Thursday to tell us that Ben could not eat or drink after midnight. Although he could continue to have clear liquids until 11am. Now his surgery was not until 3:30pm. That is a heck of a long time for a 5-year-old who eats constantly to be denied. I was pretty grumpy about the whole thing (Thom & Susan would probably say very grumpy) because the midnight cut off is the same one used by the patients who have to arrive at the hospital for morning surgery. To me that feels like a rule that is easier for the hospital to give out but certainly not easier for the parents and children having surgery. Made me realize how completely spoiled we are at UW Hospital, where it seems, for the majority of our interactions, that the child's comfort is put in a close second followed by health/safety. I knew that I needed to work past my anger and line up with this idea or it would be that much harder for BEN which is exactly what I did not want. Fortunately, his mouth was hurting enough that he was not all that interested in eating anyway. Fortunately, Thom was completely certain that Ben would have no trouble with the no eating/drinking restrictions.
Ben and I discussed several times this week how he would not be able to eat or drink on Friday. Unlike Ellie, I think it helps Ben to prepare himself. At one point on Friday, Ben told me that he was glad he couldn't eat or drink because he would rather play anyway. Thom took the day off so he and Ben headed to the library as a distraction. The only time he complained of feeling hungry was when he arrived home from the library, the fun of not eating had worn off. But it was time to leave for the hospital at that point anyway. I stayed home for Ellie's drop off from school. And because I try to avoid hospitals with a newborn if at all possible. So Thom was keeping my abreast of what was going on via text/cell phone. Ben informed the hospital staff that he was in fact, the "best patient". He can be quite competitive so if he sees he can do something "better" than Ellie he will totally go for it. Believe me, I have not been above working that angle on more than one occasion. After Ben went into surgery, Thom called to tell me how Ben leaving for surgery was pretty awkward. Thom explained that he was told he would get to meet up with Ben before he went into surgery but instead, Ben, crying and fearful was carted off to surgery by himself. I was livid. I mean it is just not a good idea to mess with my children when I have major maternal hormones coursing through my veins. I called the hospital ready to let lose. What actually happened is I ended up sobbing as I requested that Thom be allowed to see Ben as soon as Ben was out of surgery. I FEEL VERY STRONGLY THAT 5-YEAR-OLDS SHOULD NOT HAVE TO FACE THE PROSPECT OF SURGERY ON THEIR OWN!!!! See how strongly I feel about that with the all caps and exclamation points?? And if by complaining about this I can prevent another youngster from going through the same experience I am going to go for it by all means. I mean at UW hospital where Ellie has had what, 15 surgeries (Thom stopped counting this year), we have been allowed to be with her until she is unconscious. Every single time. So we know this is not at all out of the realm of possibility.
Ben ended up with one tooth removed, several crowns and a root canal. Thom said when he was first coming to after surgery he was extremely unhappy, mostly from the anesthesia not from pain. But he quickly came back to baseline. When he arrived home, I asked how it had gone. Ben immediately started unloading a bagful of stuff--a blanket, socks, 3 teddy bears, his tooth in a jar, a sippy cup, a barf bag. He told the nurses he had decided to collect teddy bears and then he proceeded to collect 3 of them from various hospital staff. I asked Ben if he had been sad or scared about the surgery. He said that he was for a minute, but then he went back to having fun. He told Thom that he enjoyed his afternoon nap. Which has not at all translated into napping today, but you gotta keep the dream alive, right? And when he got home he ate and ate and ate, I am quite sure he was able to get all of his calories in for the day in a couple of hours last night. Ben is doing great today (Saturday) and has only complained once of pain. He has spent some time feeling around in his mouth getting used to the new sensations there, both with his tongue and with his fingers. I think the thing I admire the most is Ben's ability to recover so quickly from his big day, to decide that the sad/scared time is over and to go back to having fun as quickly as possible. To strive to be the best patient possible. To make up for lost eating time. To not get caught in any drama but remain steadfastly commited to the story that feels the best.
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