[/caption]"Happiness is good health and a bad memory." The perfect saying for Ellie. She told us recently that she did not enjoy her Physical Therapy at school that day. We asked what exactly had happened in PT (that's medical lingo for Physical Therapy for all you laymen out there.) She could not recall. Thom & I agreed that that is the perfect response to something that you do not like, just forget about it.
Ben & I were at Trader Joe's and this extremely friendly older man came up to say "hi" to Ben. He was excited to see Ben and wanted to know what his name was. He told me, "Wow, you
[caption id="attachment_1006" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="I doubt if this baby (not sure who he is) recalls the intensity of this hug, hopefully he just still feels the love. "]
[/caption]really have quite a helper there!" To which I responded what a great helper Ben is, I am always working that "great helper" angle for all it is worth. The next aisle, we ran into the same man and he asked once again, "What is this little guy's name?" To which I responded again, "Ben". And the man said something funny like, Ben without the Hen. Well, when we got to the next aisle, the man asked once again what my son's name was. And then like a lightening bolt, I finally understood that he was completely not recalling that he had just met us one aisle over. So each time he asked, I responded as if it was the first time he asked because that is what I have appreciated people doing when Ellie repeats her stories or
[caption id="attachment_990" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Ben has always been enthusiastic in whatever he chooses to do."]
[/caption]questions. What struck me was how incredibly happy and practically downright jolly this man seemed. He was having a good time not remembering, appreciating each time he met Ben, over and over again.
Ben & I were at the library and Ben was quietly drumming on the shelf I was perusing. Suddenly the patron who had been looking at books on the opposite side of the shelf leaned over and said sternly to Ben, "Stop that right now!" I was shocked. I mean if an adult were doing the same thing, would this patron have asked in
[caption id="attachment_986" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Oh man is that ever sweet!"]
[/caption]that way? Why because Ben is smaller, less experienced should he be yelled at? It irked me. I wish I had said, "There is no need to speak to him in that tone." Maybe I would have even said it in a British accent to make it sound classier. Ben of course, as children do, was over it by the time he reached the train table. I on the other hand spent part of my day pondering what I could/would/might have said...If I had said something British and snotty, I might then have obsessed and felt guilty that I had hurt someone else ...What I
[caption id="attachment_112" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Good time Ben, he does not stay mad for long..."]
[/caption]really want is to completely forget about that part of our trip and appreciate the wonderful time we had together and the super books and videos we checked out. I want to know that this woman even in her manner of speaking to Ben was doing the best that she could at that moment. She must have been startled to find a drummer in the library. Perhaps she felt that the only way to be "heard" was to use such a voice and that seems a bit sad to me. It never feels good to me to snap at someone else and to feel that this is the only way to obtain what you want would be sad indeed. Ultimately, this woman did not hurt me in anyway, I was annoyed, it is true. I felt protective of Ben. Is Ben hurt? Not at all.
Maybe I should be more like Ben & Ellie & the jolly man at the grocery store and just erase it from my memory.
(Yes, Cynthia, you guessed it, this was Sun Prairie Library. I am ever so greatful to Sun Prairie Library for giving me so many topics to blog about. )
Great examples of how life would truly be a "bowl of cherries" if we would choose not to be offended by others words, but consider the why of what they were saying. Also how great would it be each time we see another person (even in the next aisle) if we had that excitement of meeting them for the very first time. Thanks for the gold nuggets of relationships that you have given. Love.....
ReplyDeleteWow. Thing is, I do have a difficult time with total strangers yelling at a child. Not good. People like that need help of some sort. If I am with you & Ben when something like that happens, do you mind if I say something? Sending loving drumming vibes your way!
ReplyDeleteMaybe next time (although I am sure there will not be a next time), if you are not in my presence, I could call you on my little pink phone and have you talk to him/her. That would be so excellent. I'd say, "My BFF Cynthia wants to talk to you now...." Oh darn, they don't allow cell phone use at the library, guess I'll have to take you with me everywhere from now on, just in case...
ReplyDelete