Distractions

Face painting reactivated Zibbi's smile...

After flooding last month, Madison has become a swamp land.  The Mosquito population is completely thriving, even in the morning.  Not our usual for September.  Sunday was the Wish Walk, not only was it already warm in the morning, did I mention the mosquitoes?  Holy moly, they adore Zibbi and I worry they may just fly off with her...As we registered for the walk, one of the volunteers mentioned that mascots were on hand.  Zibbi is TERRIFIED of mascots, so she immediately burst into tears and hid herself.  To distract Zibbi, I suggested we create a bracelet.  On a table next to us, were bowls filled with bracelets that read, "I wish to go..." OR "I wish to be..." So everyone could imagine and share what wish they would request, if they had a wish granted.  Zibbi told me she wanted "I wish to go..." and when I inquired what I should write, she said, "home"...so much for my distraction techniques. 

It's the THOUGHT...

On a Saturday recently, when everyone woke up, Benja proudly proclaimed how he'd been up for hours.  I inquired if he'd made us all breakfast (since he is into cooking right now).  He paused and said, "I thought about it, but I didn't.  But you know, it's the THOUGHT that counts..."  Now we use that excuse for EVERYTING.  I THOUGHT about doing laundry, but I didn't.  Even though you have no clean clothes, it's the THOUGHT that counts....I feel like his Improv camp is really paying off. 

Frenemies for Life....

To celebrate Benja turning 13, we went to see Hamilton in Chicago.  Since then, we have been all Hamilton music, all the time.  There's a song where Hamilton talks about his frenemy (friend + enemy) Aaron Burr.  After a listening, Zibbi told me that Lotta is HER frenemy.  I thought that was pretty an accurate assessment, their loving playtimes can so quickly turn violent, before there is even time to respond.  Then, Zibbi sighed and said, "And I have to LIVE with my frenemy..."

You are Beautiful

As many mornings as we've been able, Lotta, Zibbi and I have biked to school.  The fresh morning air and bright blue skies are a big incentive.   Along the way, there is a billboard that reads, "You are beautiful".  A recent morning I commented to Lotta how some people do not feel beautiful, and so this billboard was extremely important at reminding anyone feeling ugly that they are beautiful.  Lotta seemed shocked that anyone would feel less than beautiful.  I think she may have even had a very Ellie like "really".  She pondered this for a moment and asked if I thought more women than men felt less than beautiful.  I agreed that this seemed to be the case.  My hope for future Lotta is that she continues to feel beautiful, and flaunt her own signature style, and that even the thought of not feeling beautiful is shocking.  Today Lotta decided to wear as many jewels to summer school as she could. 

A Nocturnal Party Animal

Almost every evening, unless she is ill, Zibbi suddenly gets a super huge burst of energy as soon as the

lights are out.  She will then check outside to see how dark it is.  Get another drink of water.  Practice some yoga moves, do some burpees and other exercises.  Fall off of the bed.  Walk around the room.  Scratch her many itches.  Suddenly urgently, need to have a lengthy discussion about a random topic.

Recently, I decided to try out a Loving Kindness Meditation on her to see if it would help her calm more quickly.  In the first step, you close your eyes and send "loving-kindness to yourself".  Zibbi immediately said she was going to send loving-kindness to her "bigger" self.  It struck me what a fantastic idea this was, as a 4-year-old, she is so very in love with herself right now.  At four, she's able to be courageous in ways she may not in the future.  And I know some time in the future, she will have challenging moments when she will not feel so freely loving of herself.  What a beautiful package to send to her future self, some love and some kindness.  I hope that her future self feels that "thrown" loving kindness when she needs it most.

Reenacting When Harry Met Sally...

There is a scene in When Harry Met Sally where Sally makes it well known that she is upset with Harry by being extra pleasant to everyone around her, while she blatantly ignores Harry.  I often feel this way with Lotta lately.  For example, she made me a Valentine's card that said, "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like you".  Then, she made a Valentine's card for Thom proclaiming her love for him.  Today, she was trying to explain something to me and immediately started shouted to indicate how unintelligent she finds me.  Then Thom asked a question and she immediately reverted to, "Yes, Daddy?"

The thought came to me the other night that Lotta NEEDS more hugs.  She is making it challenging for me to issue the more hugs that she needs.  Or maybe I need them.  I just didn't think the being angry getting off the bus at merely seeing my face would begin at SEVEN.  I thought I had a few more years of love.

Fortunately, the more Lotta becomes hateful, the more Zibbi becomes loving.  The other morning she told me, "I just LOVE you SO much."  She's decided she loves me so much that she wants to marry me (the rule is, if you kiss on the lips, you are married...)

Lotta's Love Life

A few months ago, the mother of one of Lotta's classmates contacted me to ask if I knew that Lotta had agreed to marry her son, Walter.  In shock, I told her I was unaware that a proposal had been accepted. A few days later, a fellow student approached Thom, to let him know how Lotta and Walter loved eachother.  So it seemed official.  When I questioned Lotta, she shrugged and explained that it would be a LONG time before they were grown and able to marry.

Maybe a month later, Lotta told me she had a different boyfriend in her class.  And I asked what happened to Walter.  She again shrugged, as if saying, why couldn't she have both options in her life.  A boyfriend NOW and an entirely different husband later.  Seemed reasonable to me.

As we were talking about all that has to happen in order for a baby to be born, Lotta decided she would prefer to adopt.  AND she wants to marry Naja, her best friend.  I am SO confused.