Lions and Tigers and Eeyores Oh My!

[caption id="attachment_4550" align="alignright" width="300" caption="This is the "I NEED that camera right now" look. Could possibly lead to the Lion/Tiger attack mode, but not usually."][/caption]

I know it has been awhile.  Lotta has been ailing for almost the last 2 weeks.  This was the worst cold/flu bug she has had.  Usually she just keeps running around, this time, she actually lethargically SAT through a movie.  Not to fret, she is finally on the up and up!  I think she is as ready to get out of the house as I am!

One of Lotta's most recent tricks, she stops in the middle of doing something to say, "More" in baby signs.  Yes, I do realize she could just continue doing what she was doing, but she has to show off her skills somehow doesn't she?  Always makes me smile.

Sometimes when Lotta is angry, she jumps at me with

[caption id="attachment_4552" align="alignleft" width="225" caption="Sitting on the shoe step, trying to wear one of Bens shoes and one of mine."][/caption]

her mouth open, like the little Lion (Leo)/Tiger (Chinese year of the Tiger) she is.  Also, makes me smile, even though I know I shouldn't.

Lotta has inherited other of Ellie's habits. (I mean besides the closing of opened cabinets and drawers).  She likes to sit on the "shoe step" to put on her shoes, just like Ellie.  She likes to pull her socks off an run around with naked feet, even when those naked feet are freezing cold.  She likes to pick up Ben's legos for him.

Surprise of all surprises, Lotta now ADORES the bath.  I presented it to her as a big puddle and suddenly the whole thing shifted for her.  She now asks many times a day to take a bath, swinging her little leg over the side in an attempt to hurl herself in.

On Valentine's Day, we did our traditional making of a Valentine's page.  This year we challenged ourselves to come up with a tribute

[caption id="attachment_4549" align="alignright" width="225" caption="Visiting Thom at work."][/caption]

to each person in 6 words. The one that Thom came up with for Ellie to me was samazing (so amazing)--"Always saw the best in me."  We both teared up over that one.  Ben told me the day was a "Yes" day, a day filled with wonderful yeses (there was a class party).

Last week Ben came off the bus feeling quite gloomy.  It seems he had overheard some of his classmates discussing play dates they were having (or planning to have).  He felt quite left out.  This was after he had been having trouble running on the playground (he too has been stuffed up and coughing).  When he tried to tell his classmates that he couldn't run, they ran away from him.  (I think Alanis would call that ironic, don't you?)  He had that feeling, as we all do at times, that EVERYONE but EVERYONE was having a party without him.  We talked about it and he still felt gloom (Eeyore-ish as Ellie would say).  We tried watching a movie and having a floor picnic, making our own party. He felt slightly better.

Apparently what he needed was a Daddy antidote for his gloom. When Thom arrived home from work, all the gloom fell away as he ran to embrace his "Very favorite person in the whole wide world." Maybe I was trying too hard?

 

Miss Me Miss Me Now You Gotta Kiss Me

Last Saturday I was wanting to go to a Tiara Coaching seminar in Chicago.  It sounded like such fun to be on the road (by myself!) for the day, stopping at the Oasis (one of those over the highway places that serve Green Tea Lattes at the Starbucks), talking on the phone to people I love (with a headpiece of course) and of course I always feel inspired, refreshed, rejuvenated after a Tiara event.  I was agonizing over the decision, this would be the longest I have been away from Lotta.  Would she miss me too too much?  On Friday, as I was still trying to make my final decision, Thom told Ben about the possibility of me going to Chicago to see how he would feel about that.  Ben became very excited about the prospect of taking care of Lotta all day.  He only wondered if I could possibly be gone for MORE than one day.  So much for my vision of the kids sitting at home crying all day, missing me terribly.

As we were leaving a play date this week, I told Lotta to tell her little friend "good bye".  She ran up to the little girl and gave her a kiss on the cheek.  Made me realize, oh yeah, that IS how we say "good bye" in our family.  It used to be hugs, now its kisses.  Oh sweet Lotta kisses, can't get enough of those!!

Running with a Theme

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Oh how I love a good theme.  It just brings everything together so nicely.  During winter break, to relieve the boredom we were feeling, Ben decided to create a "P" party--a party celebrating things starting with the letter "P".  I wore a pink and purple polka dotted skirt and piggy tails.  I wore a tiara (I do so at every opportunity) so I was a princess.  If you give me a theme, I get a little out of control, can you tell?  Of course the party had to be potluck, we ate pizza, pineapple side dish, pasta, peas (sugar snap), peanut butter cups and drank purple punch.

Last weekend, we had an everybody where Elmo theme night.  Then the next day we all wore sweatshirts.  Because Ben and I are more enthusiastically for theme days and nights than Thom is against them, we always win out.  Plus it solves the problem of what to wear.

When we discovered it was Ben's turn for Show-n-Tell again this week, I had a moment of panic.  Then we began to brainstorm.

[caption id="attachment_4532" align="alignleft" width="225" caption="Lotta often has an Elmo theme going on. She says his name like this Elbow. So when I ask where her elbow is, she looks at her shirt."][/caption]

He thought perhaps he could bring "Bubby" his stuffed Hippo I bought him when he was a baby.  He is not now nor has he ever been terribly attached to Bubby.  He has never slept with Bubby or taken Bubby on any adventures.  Hmm.   Not sure how interesting that would be.  Suddenly it hit me that he could talk about his older sister (see the them here? His last Show-n-Tell was about Lotta.  He could have a sisters theme.)  He LOVED the idea.

When I asked Ben what he would want to tell the class about Ellie, he immediately responded he would tell them how Ellie always said he was her best friend.  Immediately following Ellie's death, Ben talked a lot about how Ellie didn't like him in his room or how she often yelled when he was loud or how she did not want him to touch her books.  I absolutely knew at the time that Ben's memories would be formed by what we focused on.  We began discussing how every single time Ellie was asked at school who her best friend was, she responded that Ben was and how convenient it was to have her best friend right at home.

[caption id="attachment_4528" align="alignright" width="300" caption="How I was worried Ben would remember Ellie."][/caption]

Thus, when Ben responded so earnestly with this as his first response, I knew we had succeeded in letting him know how much Ellie loves him, even when, at the end of her life, she might have had a hard time with his exuberant entrances into her room.  Mission accomplished.

I don't think you will be at all surprised that the more we talked about Show-n-Tell, the bigger it got.  I suggested we bring in the photo collage Uncle Kippy put together for the After Party.  Ben looked at it and noticed how there were NO pictures of him with Ellie in any of the photos.  We went to work, searching for photos of the 2 of them, which we set up as a short (12 photos) slide show.  We brought in favorite items of Ellie's--a book, a crayon shape made by Hospice Care utilizing crayons Ellie had peeled, and a giraffe from the girection (giraffe collection) Ellie had given to Ben when Ben asked if he could have it (the entire collection, not just one giraffe).  Then we watched Ellie's video of her trip to Sesame

[caption id="attachment_4530" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Instead how Ben is recalling Ellie, Best friends playing on the beach."][/caption]

Street.  Unfortunately, because Ben was so young, he does not recall any of that trip, so he just started making up answers to the questions his classmates asked.  I was forced at that point to jump in with more accurate information.  We ended up using the WHOLE 30 minute Show-n-Tell time, which was actually set aside for 3 students (oops).  We left with the class two of Ellie's all-time-favorite foods for later, "Can you guess what they are?" * (Ben kept pretending he was the teacher by asking the class questions like that, "Can anyone guess what this is?" or "Oh that is a good question").  He seemed to thrive on being in front of his class more than I had ever seen him before.  He got a little squirrel-y near the end of his talk, and I wondered if he was partly trying to tell his class and his teachers through his silliness that even though his sister died, he is still OK, he can still laugh and be silly even

[caption id="attachment_4527" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Playing on the bed together. Ellie has her hand on Ben."][/caption]

when talking about her.

*The answer is:  liney chips and peanut butter chocolate chip cookies--the peanut butter is Ben's favorite, the chocolate chip cookies Ellie's, so it seemed like the perfect combination for a presentation about Ben's experiences with Ellie.