So as a recap for all you who have NOT been following along (shame on you), here is a quick recap. We have been in the hospital since last Saturday basically to get Ellie cleaned out so she can eat again. Yes, you got that right for poop (or bowel movements as they say around here).
Yesterday was a big day of clearing out for Ellie. At one point we were running back and forth to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I was wiping Ellie as she did a down dog for me (hands on the floor bum in the air) and literally clear liquid stuff starting spraying outta her bum. She looked like an upside down fountain. I have never seen anything like and hope to never see anything like it again. I panicked and tried to get her back on the toilet. With poor Ellie apologizing the whole time.
Ellie keeps saying, "Aren't you glad that pooping is so much easier for me now?" Which makes me smile because I am thinking boy I sure hope so after 6 days of working on this!!
Ellie is in great spirits and is thoroughly enjoying explaining all of her words and ideas to a whole new audience every 12 hours when the shift changes. The nurse just came in to explain our new "stool management". How fancy does that sound? Go ahead send me your best poop jokes in the comments...
Ghost Poopie
ReplyDeleteThe kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie
The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't runie them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie
The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.
Turtle Poopie
The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out
Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead-Poopie
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.
Gas-sy Poopie
The kind where it's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling!
Drinker Poopie
The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Corn Poopie
(Self explanatory)
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poop Poopie
The kind where you want to Poopie, but all you do is it on the toilet and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Poopie
That's the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get spashed with water.
Liquid Poopie
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots you of your butt and spashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Poopie
The kind that smells so bad your nose burns.
Upper Class Poopie
The kind of Poopie that doesn't smell.
The Suprise Poopie
You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS---a Poopie!
The Dangling Poopie
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
Please tell your family I did not make those up.
ReplyDeleteThe Ellie Poopie:
ReplyDeleteDoing head down dog while pooping a fountain of poop.
I made that one up. Please apologize to your family for me and remind them of my stellar qualities.